Girl #1: Why is it so hot in here?
Girl #2: Hobo farts.

–1 train station, 168th St

NYU girl #1 with a low‐cut shirt: Oh my god, why is it so hot outside? My boobs are burning!
Hot NYU guy: Hey, Cindy*!
NYU girl #1: Oh, hey Sam*!
NYU girl #2, after guy passes by: He totally heard you say your boobs were burning.
NYU girl #1, embarrassed: I know.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: might wanna get that checked out

Woman #1, fanning herself on crowded train: It is hot.
Woman #2, also fanning herself: If this were the Underground Railroad, damn, I would have been a slave forever.

–A Train

Exchange student: I was just telling him how to use a Post‐it.


20‐ish male: Actually, global warming is only going to benefit New York City.


Overheard by: martina m.

Chick: I am not eating somewhere with a misplaced apostrophe in its menu.


Overheard by: Ladle

Young Columbia student: Yeah, so all of a sudden I was walking home drunk, in a diaper, with a huge scar.

–1 train

Columbia grad student: … And if you ask him he’ll say, ‘I’m making money for the school! I’m making money for the school! I do drugs! I do drugs!’

–1 train

Student to another: As for the article, I don’t care about the truth of my argument. I care about people knowing how big my penis is.


Conductor: This is 116th Street, Columbia University. Good luck paying your tuition.

–116th St

Overheard by: Sam

Big muscular man on cell: It’s so damn hot, I’m glad I’m not wearing makeup.

–Outside Tribeca Deli

Overheard by: Akiko

Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it’s hot!

–Downtown 1 Train

Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It’s so hot my pussy is melting!

–12th & Broadway

Overheard by: lemchek

Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him!

–Thompson & W 3rd St

Guy: I’m telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something.


Dude to friend: I wanna say she’s hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover.

–The Village

(passengers start closing bus windows because of heavy rain)
Girl #1: That window’s still open.
Girl #2 (reaching over sleeping girl and closing it): Oh my god, I feel like I’m her savior.
Girl #1: Uh‐huh.
Girl #2: But now it’s really hot. Should we open a window?
Girl #1: Fine. (reaches over and opens the window next to the sleeping girl)
Girl #2: You’re evil.
Girl #1: Yeah, like you weren’t thinking of doing the same exact thing.

–Bronx Science Vallo Bus

Girl: The polar ice caps are melting…
Guy #1: Yeah, ’cause of global warming!
Guy #2: Um…it’s summertime.

–F train

Overheard by: cupcake 

Young man: Man, is it hot out here today!
Older man: Yes, it is. I can’t believe I can still feel the sun on my head in the shade.

–Wall St

Logistical genius: If the power goes out and we lose the air conditioning, we can always use the fans.


Dude on cell: Am I keeping it real? I’m wearing a Goddamn blazer, and it’s 100 degrees out. Of course I’m keeping it real!

–Hudson & Leroy

Conductor: Now, I know it’s real hot out there, so this is what I do when I’m walking down the streets of New York and trying to keep cool. I just sing this little song to myself: “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know”…All right, you all, this is 68th Street. Keep cool out there.

–A train

Overheard by: Chloe

Woman to her son: It’s too hot for stupidness.

–59th St

Proselytizer: You think this is hot? Hell is hot!

–Uptown N train

Overheard by: Cpt. Kate

Guy on cell: How you been doing in this heatwave?…That’s hot…Well, now I’m getting all hot, thinking of my hot, sweaty cousin.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Nozomi

Dedicated employee: Frankly, the only reason I’m going in to work today is because they have better air conditioning than I do.

–Manhattan bound R train

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Latino: It’s fucking warm, yo!
Building custodian, in heavy Trinidadian accent: So it is, mon! So it is!
Latino: The world is going to end very soon, yo!
Building custodian: Maybe so, my brotha!
Latino: No! I’m fucking serious, yo!

–151 W 26th St, Chelsea

Overheard by: jairoski