He Was Hoping for Some Insider Knowledge

Girl: Well, she was clearly hurt. Her eye swelled up like a monkey’s vagina!
Guy: What? Like a monkey’s vagina?
Girl: Yeah, when they’re in heat.
Guy: Ohhh… Only monkeys’ vaginas swell?

–Elevator, 101^st & Broadway

Posted on March 23, 2008
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Default, Elevators, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Heat, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weirdness

The Management Will Address Your Concerns on February 30^th

Preacher woman: They say, if you see something, say something — if you see a suspicious package, say something! Well, Hell is a suspicious package!
Commuter: Since it’s about a hundred and forty degrees down here, I’d say this was Hell. Who can I speak to about it?

−−2÷3 station, Fulton St

Overheard by: Karen Maria

Posted on March 21, 2008
Advice, Battery Park, Default, Heat, National Security, Preachers, Public Transportation, Strangers, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Terrorism, Women

So You Can Eat Out of It, but No Funny Business

Little girl: Mommy, I’m hot. Can we swim in there?
Mom: No, sweetie. Everyone in New York poops in that river.

–Ferry to Ellis Island

Posted on March 18, 2008
Default, Ferry, Girls, Gripes, Heat, Kids, Moms, Poop

Would You Like to Hear the Litany of All My Self‐Inflicted Problems?

Guy in elevator: God, it’s hot! Must be my underwear…
Chick: Underwear, yeah?
Guy in elevator: Yeah, I got plastic underwear… [Chick is silent.] … For easy cleaning.

–28^th & 6^th

Posted on March 15, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Heat, Kink, Lies

Or a Shot to the Liver

College girl #1: God, I’m so hot.
College girl #2: Yeah, I need a cold drink — something really cold.
College girl #1: Like a shot of vodka…

–Union Square

Overheard by: thirsty

Posted on January 21, 2008
Drinking & Drunk People, Heat, Sorority Girls, Union Square and East Village

I Mean, Unless You’ve Got Wolf Titties, or Something

Woman to friend: God, it’s so hot! I’m going to take my shirt off once we get outside.
Random guy: Nice!

–Sullivan & Broadway

Posted on October 23, 2007
Heat, Ladies Who Lunch, Nudity

Yeah, Um, Could You Stop That?

Guy #1: Yo, it’s hot, son!
Guy #2: Yeah, like two dicks rubbin’ together.

–Q6 bus

Overheard by: Who knows what that feels like?

Posted on October 1, 2007
Guys, Heat, On the Bus

And It’s Hot As Hell There!

Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.‘
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.

–Banana Republic, 42^nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Not Haitian