That’s Too Bad, He Was Such a Great Guy

Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on September 4, 2022
Alabama, Bimbettes, Colleges & Universities, Gossip, Jocks, Names

Wait'll We Hit Corporate America

Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on March 16, 2022
Alabama, Assholes, Default, Education, Feelings, Jocks

Well, Everyone Knows That

Jock: Diversity is an old, old wooden ship.

Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Ship’s Captain

Posted on October 4, 2021
Canadia, Jocks, Philosophy

Translation: I’m About to Start Crying

Jock #1: Dude, that bitch broke my heart.
Jock #2, eating a burrito: I know, man. You were always so unhappy, and I wanted to, like, slap you around and make you happy.
Jock #1, singing softly and staring blankly at the ground: I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you…
Jock #2: Look, man, we boys, aight? But when you start singing cheesy-ass love songs to a chick that cheated on you, gave you an STD, and shit on top of your car because she’s crazier than a fucking monkey on crack with a banana up its ass, something’s wrong with you, and maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on November 11, 2019
Advice, Default, Jocks, Relationships, Washington

Whoa, Is My Face Red

Jock: Dude, I went to our professor's office yesterday, and you know what? She has a giant bottle of lube just sitting there on her desk!
(pause)
Friend: You jackass! That's hand sanitizer on her desk, not lube!

University of Colorado

Overheard by: I keep the lube in the drawer