God's Chosen Wednesday One-Liners

Woman to friend: Look, I just don't want to be born again, okay? I saw how you attacked that Jewish woman in the airport.

–Broadway & 10th St

Overheard by: Stephanie

Patron: Jews for Jesus are just reformed black panthers.

–Turkish Kitchen, 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Pola

Student who has just drawn a stereotypical Jew to another who has drawn Jesus on the cross: Wait–wait, Jesus was Jewish?

–Bronx High School Of Science, Judaic Cultural Society

Girl at birthday supper: I get all Jewish and entitled when anyone tries to tell me "no!"

–8th Ave & 43rd St

Overheard by: Lankyguy

Jock to another: And then he like tried to fuck me. I guess that's what I get for spending the night at a dude's house. I mean he was Jewish and all, so he was really nice but still…

–23rd St & Lexington

Posted on September 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bosses, Bronx Science, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Jesus, Jocks, Judaism, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Bronx, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Just Do It for the Endorphins

Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.

–Rckefeller Park

Overheard by: Maria

White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.

–29th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Lace

Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!

–74th St & Broadway

Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?

–PATH

Posted on June 3, 2009
Battery Park, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Dads, Druggies, Fitness, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Jocks, Kids, Meatheads, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Questions, Religion, Street, Suits, Thievery, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!

–Christopher & 7th

Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.

–125th b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Reilly

Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.

–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn

Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!

–Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Meredith

Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!

–NJ Transit

Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!

–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Black People, Boob Job, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jocks, Junk Food & Fast Food, Love, Money & Class, Offers and requests, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, President, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yankee Stadium

…In the Finest Restaurant Bathrooms.

Upstate jock #1: Dude, is there anything to eat in all of Manhattan?
Upstate jock #2: People don't eat anymore. They just do lots of coke.

–Inwood Hill Park

Overheard by: Mojojon

Posted on April 13, 2009
Cocaine, Food, Jocks, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, Washington Heights and Inwood

You Get a Little Something Extra with an Ivy League Education

Jock #1: I still want to punt a pigeon one of these days…
Jock #2: Dude! I so got one last week!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: I'd like to see you try

Posted on April 2, 2009
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Jocks, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

One Pill Makes You Wednesday and One Pill Makes You One-Liners

Young hipster to friend: Remember when we sat there, I was high on Vicodin and we saw that guy take a shit in the fountain?

–Union Square Greenmarket

Rich woman yelling on phone: I don't care about your stupid laws or ethics or whatever. (pause) No, I pay you too much money not to get the goddamn drugs I want. (pause) Just write the fucking prescriptions and send them! What the fuck kind of drug dealing doctor are you?

–Metro North Train

Loud lady on cell on escalator: I'm on all these medications you're not supposed to be on when you're pregnant!

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Visiting Kiran

Jock: Nothing's as bad as being allergic to Viagra, man!

–NYU Bus

Lady of indeterminate age: A craving is just a thought on steroids.

–26th st & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lucky Gunther

Obese woman to male friend: I need to get some Viagra from my dad.

–17th St & 8th Ave