Hippies

Hippie: They gave Israel a nuclear submarine.
Companion: So they can fish?

–5th Ave. & 21st St.

Overheard by: MK and AT

Hippiechick: You can’t hug your child with nuclear arms.

–F Train

Overheard by: Erica Bergin

Guy: …it’s like…you can’t hug your child with nuclear arms!

–Bubba Gump’s, Times Square

Hippie to doorman: I know this is a weird question, but is there an office in this building called “Planet Hemp”?
Doorman: Nah man, sorry. (under his breath, as hippie turns and walks away) I fucking wish there was.

–23rd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Wanna get High?

Woman on cell: Well what did you expect? Did you think you could just go into the subway and get a million bucks playing your guitar?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Domi

Aged hippie: Would you rather have a housewife on Prozac or a babysitter on acid? [Friend shrugs.] Well, I’d rather have a babysitter on acid!

–Central Park

Overheard by: MRA

Bimbette daughter: So, you like, had to, like, grow corn and shit when you were little?
Old hippie father: Yeah, before I moved to Oregon. We had cows.
Bimbette daughter: Ewww! You had to milk cows?
Old hippie father: Yeah, but cows don’t help with household chores, though. Only crocodiles can do that.
Bimbette daughter: Word.

–Barnes & Noble

Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand?
Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though!
Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day!
Blind man: Same to you!
Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers…they just blow my mind.

–Union Square Subway Station

Hippie chick #1: Wait, so what’s your mother’s excuse for treating you like a maid?
Hippie chick #2: She says she’s training me for when I get married.
Hippie chick #1: But I thought your mom was a total fembot.
Hippie chick #2: She claims to be, but this isn’t her only hypocritical fetish. I mean, the woman drinks nonalcoholic wine.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Domestically Apathetic

Weird hobo: Ladies and gentleman, I am a disabled Vietnam vet. I'm asking help from all of you so I don't wind up on the streets. While in Vietnam, I was exposed to Agent Orange, which caused me my disability–I became a vegetarian.

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: An Amused Former Vegetarian

Aging hippie to woman spouting PETA propaganda: I've been a vegan for 30 years. You're embarrassing me. Why do you do that?

–F Train

Overheard by: AeC

Guy: Yo, I'm vegetarian now, I don't eat no meat, but man I love that chicken. That chicken just keeps comin' back to me!

–Manna's

Overheard by: eatinginharlem

Crazy-looking woman on bench: Oh my gosh, I was totally a vegetarian yesterday. Like literally, I ate no meat.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Meat Eater

Clueless 20-something female: Do you have another menu? I'm a vegan.

–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, 31st St

Hippie: Dude, I found this place that makes the best veggie burger ever!
Friend: Cool… So, they’ll put bacon on mine, right?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Megan