Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
Guy #1: Me and Dave tried to shoplift some porn last night.
Guy #2: What do you mean “tried?”
Guy #1: The alarm went off, but we didn’t get caught. 24 hours of teens for $15. I had a twenty but it was in my pocket instead of my wallet, otherwise I woulda just paid for it
Guy #2: I bet if you watched that for 24 hours you’d look like when E.T.’s sick in the river.
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: dubbel cheese
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Teen girl: This one’s kind of cross-eyed.
Teen guy: They’re porn star action figures. What do you want?
Teen girl: I want them to be just as hot as the real thing…and I want them to be glistening.
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Place
Russian chick: I don’t know why he’s so pathetic that he resorts to lap dancing. I mean, come on, lap dancing! Is he really so desperate? He’s a good-looking guy, I just don’t understand how he could stoop so low!
Preppy guy: No no no, you misunderstand! He’s not desperate, he’s just into that sort of thing… you know, he’s actually dating a porn star right now.
–84th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Mr. Sausage
Man on cell: Dave? Hi, it’s Vince…fine, and you? Great. Listen, Dave, my boss was really interested in your video work, and he’d love to see more…yes, right. He’s going to want you to come in for an interview. But I have to ask you a question, okay? How do you feel about cum shots?
–Broadway & 52nd
Overheard by: Meg Kane
Girl #1: If she moves into your kitchen and her boyfriend visits, you are gonna overhear them fucking.
Girl #2: Uh-uh. I’m puttin’ the kibosh on that.
Girl #1: You can’t tell them they can’t have sex in her own room where she pays rent!
Girl #2: I don’t want to hear no sex…unless it’s on the porn. Or me. Or two men.
–International Bar, 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Freestyling hobo: Sex on TV will never stop. My big dick in a lollipop.
Bonus: The blueblood ladies walking by gasped.
–40th & 2nd
Paparazzo: So you two are really pretty, have you ever done any modeling?
Dutch girl #1: Ha ha ha, not me, maybe her.
Dutch girl #2: No, I am studying history at home.
Paparazzo: You really should consider it, there is great money in it and I would love to help you get started.
Dutch girl #2: Sounds interesting…what type of modeling?
Paparazzo: Well, nude sells the best. We can go over to my place and discuss it.
Dutch girl #1: Great!
Dutch girl #2: Maybe you can take some of us together.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stephanie Nally
Girl: Your hair looks so hot when it’s raining.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yes, you get that Swedish porn star look.
Boy: In that case I hope it rains all weekend.
–Penn Station
