Porn

12‐year old girl: Just because we watch porn together doesn’t mean we have sex together.
12‐year old boy: Stop lying, you whore.

–Mulberry & Canal

Overheard by: Tara G

Suit #1: You know what movie they’re filming over there?
Suit #2: I think it’s a snuff film. 

–Maiden & Water

Overheard by: Angry Oscillations 

Guy #1: Wow, [title of show] was awesome. I thought it was super inspirational.
Guy #2: Yeah, the girl‐on‐girl action was pretty sweet.
Guy #1: And they even had four chairs and a keyboard. How much better does it get?

–Times Square

Overheard by: WonderWoman

Guy: So, I saw this video online of a chick who tied her beef curtains in a knot…

–Astor Pl

Chick: Maybe I should scrap my dissertation and just write erotica?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Chick: My favorite porn line, and possibly my favorite movie line ever, is, ‘Suck it, my queen. Suck it.’

–Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Pl

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Intern to another: They do too make gay pornography!

–42nd & Madison

Overheard by: Nicolas Agrait

Cube neighbor on phone with friend: So, the first thing she needs to do is throw it out — get rid of all the porn. I mean, she has closets and closets full of it!

–Midtown

20‐something woman on cell: I may be too analytical for erotica.

–Outside Century 21

Overheard by: McFreaky

30‐something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!

–Spring & Greene

20‐something chick: First of all, who poses bare‐ass naked on a car in a Wal‐Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e‑mails it to all their friends?!

–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…

–Starbucks, Washington Square

Overheard by: jess

Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: X. L. Percy

Yuppie: I myself don’t watch porn, but I am told by trustworthy sources that at least two‐thirds of all pornographic movies have no artistic value.

– Lower East Side

Obnoxious NYU student on phone: Hey, remember that cute boy in my chemistry class I was telling you about? Well, I totally just saw him in a gay porno!

–Study Room, NYU Dorm

Overheard by: NYU Ears

Patient woman: She’s making friends with an old porn star, leave her alone!

–2nd Ave b/w 50th & 51st

Overheard by: sab

Cranky suit to nodding friend: Except for porn and eBay, no one knows how to make money anymore!

–Madison Ave & 47th St

Overheard by: kricka

Girl to friend: This would be a great place to shoot a porno.

–Downstairs Bar, Morimoto Restaurant

iPhone screamer: Yeah, just take the exec‐u‐table file and put it in the folder. Right the exec‐u‐table file! I know, the music is funny, like a porno, right?

–33rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Chick: You *know* we’re all going to be googling “eggbeater porn” before the night is over.

–Party, 171st & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Man on cell: Yeah, I got girls who can do that…That too. You just call me back in an hour, I’ll be at the house…I know you make high‐quality adult productions, you’re the kind of man I want to be working with…No, the girls talk through me…I got this one girl, very high quality, based in Oregon, she was in Las Vegas last week, she’ll do whatever you ask…

–Washington Square Park

Porn man: If you don’t have ID, I can’t let you in.
Minor guy: Man, I can sell pussy, but you won’t let me see pussy?

–Porn store, 42nd between 8th & 9th

White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I’ve never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”

–Bleecker St