Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.
–Staten Island ferry
Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.
–Staten Island ferry
Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week.
–Chumley’s, Bedford Street
Overheard by: Initials
Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed.
–Bensonhurst
Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood.
–Essex & Rivington
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Guy #1: Benedict? That’s a terrible name for a Pope!
Guy #2: What do you know? There’s been fifteen of them already!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: koaloha
Teen girl: If you want to lose weight, watch a lot of porn. I'm serious, if you watch porn, you won't have to eat for hours. Oh, and masturbating burns a lot of calories, too.
–Brooklyn
Very upset drunk hobo, after conductor announces last stop: Your kickin' all these people out to wait for the next train, just so you can jerk off?
–Bowling Green Station
Street dancer: Everyone on earth was born as a result of an orgasm. Everyone masturbates. And if they say they don't, they're lying. Even the Pope masturbates!
–Union Square
Irish dude, throwing tea to the ground: It's not right, man! Asshole masturbated in my tea!
–Outside Starbucks
Teen thug: I wanna pleasure myself while writing an essay, what's the problem with that?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Robert G.
Student #1: It’s crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really — the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.
–Van crossing GW Bridge
A blind Black man with a Star of David is holding court.
Black man: The Pope is a faggot. They molested my kids. I want to go to church, but I can’t because they molested my kids…now all White people are faggots.
Hispanic guy #1: How come they have kids?
Black man: Silence, you will wait until I have finished speaking…can’t no one hit the ball like Hank Aaron. That’s why we all in prison and they trying to kill us, but we will kill them. Can’t nobody sing like Luther Vandross.
Hispanic guy #1: But–
Black man: Wait until I have finished…now the Hispanic people, like Dominicans and Cubans are also the true Jews, and the lost tribes of Israel…now you may address me.
Hispanic guy #2: What about Black Puerto Ricans, are they from the lost tribe?
Black man: I can’t stand Black Puerto Ricans!
–West Farms bus stop, The Bronx
Dude #1: Everyone has or will take drugs at least once in their lifetime…
Dude #2: I don't know about that.
Dude #3: What about the Pope?
Dude #1: Trust me, he has or will.
–W 72nd St.
Kid: John Paul II was like Furby…and this new guy is like a gremlin.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: jessi
Girl #1: What does the Pope wear when he like sleeps? Does he always wear the huge robe and tiny little hat?
Girl #2: Ha, ha! Wow, You just totally blew my mind.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Michelle Smith
Ditzy teen: Hey, is the pope Jewish?
Boyfriend: Ummm, no — why the hell would you think that?
Ditzy teen: Well, he wears that little Jewish thing on his head.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Olivia
