Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Girl: Ugh, it’s that guy!
Dude: What guy?
Girl: The lead singer of A-ha is making my life hell.
–92nd & 2nd
Worker on phone: Good afternoon, Ms. Swank. We’d like to congratulate you on your recent Academy Award, and ask you to stop by and pick up your copy of Natural Healing.
–The Strand
Pregnant chick: You know when I pop this bitch out it is on. Get me a drink!
–2/3 train
Mother: Come here. You’re seven years old and you can’t fasten your own shoelaces? No more video games for your black ass.
–W. 53rd & 10th
Overheard by: James Shannon
Queer: You know, she sent her children to England, so they’d learn how to pronunciate words correctly.
–Angelo’s, 55th Street
Lady: They’ve got psychiatrists for dogs. They’ve even got their own cemeteries. They’ve got more things than kids!
–Eckerd’s, Bensonhurst
Younger brother: I wish I could jump over buildings like Spider-man.
Older sister: Little buildings or really tall buildings?
Younger brother: Tall buildings.
Older sister: I bet you could. Why don’t you try it sometime?
–M14 bus
Martha Stewart is on a tabloid cover.
Hipster: Did you know she’s now on that Forbes list?
Sunglasses at night girl: The one with rich people?
Hipster: Yes.
Sunglasses at night girl: She’s not even a movie star.
–Key Foods, Williamsburg
Fashionista: …he was amazing! It’s so rare to find a man familiar with Dr. Hauschka’s.
Queer: You’re in Chelsea, hon.
–18th St. bet. 7th & 8th
Overheard by: alicia
Old Drunk: Did you hear about the guy that shot the judge in Atlanta? Well, they caught him. You know how? After he shot the judge, he ran over to Graceland, where Michael Jackson lives, and he shot Michael Jackson in the leg. That is why Michael Jackson is walking around in his pajamas all the time, because his leg hurts and he can’t get dressed.
–N train
Overheard by: AG
Office worker #1: Fred Wertheimer? He’s the husband of the fabulous Linda Wertheimer…
Office worker #2: Who is that?
Office worker #1: She is a really famous radio person on NPR.
Office worker #2: What is NPR?
–Midtown office
