Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Old Black guy: The thing about Girls Gone Wild is that most of them are strippers. Girls don’t really go wild.
–D train
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Woman: One day they have Angelina sleeping with Tom Cruise, now they say she’s with Brad.
–Food Emporium, Broadway & 68th
Hipster chick: You know, they have all these sodas with added lime flavor, but why don’t they ever do Sprite with lime?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Melissa
Huge guy: So he comes up to me and gives me the $600 that he owes me. I took one look at the bills and thought this was the worst counterfeit job I’ve ever seen so I beat the shit out of him…Did you know they have a new $100 bill?
–35th & 8th
Overheard by: Paul Ferris
Woman: Sometimes I see underwear I don’t even understand.
–Victoria’s Secret, 82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Pre-school teacher lady: If they didn’t build the subway, we wouldn’t have Home Depot or Lowe’s.
–NY Transit Museum
Overheard by: Trix
Mom: I don’t know where you learned a word like that! Where would you hear that? That’s a bad name. We don’t call people that. I just don’t understand where you would have picked that up. Maybe from Howard Stern.
–2 train
Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times.
–Flatiron office
Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game.
–40th Street office
Overheard by: Clay Caviness
Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover.
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: Christopher Miner
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.
–6th Avenue & 11th Street
Woman: This block has the best garbage!
–2nd Avenue & 8th Street
Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.
–57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Heather
White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.
–Astoria party
Overheard by: Noah Starr
Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.
–Broadway & Prince
Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”
–7 train
Overheard by: Amado Angel
Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.
–Midtown office
Dork: I saw in the comic that Lex Luthor was President or something like that?
Store guy: Uh huh.
Dork: But now he’s not President in the story in Justice League Unlimited.
Store guy: Right. They’re catching up to that storyline now.
Dork: And they took Supergirl’s DNA and made a clone? And gave her Power Girl’s costume?
–Midtown Comics, Lexington Avenue
Girl #1: You know, if you think all songs are sung by a penis, they suddenly become funny.
Girl #2: You are high, you know that?
–91st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: SexyJewThang
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
