Wednesday One-liners Are Grossly Mismarketed

Old Black guy: The thing about Girls Gone Wild is that most of them are strippers. Girls don’t really go wild.

–D train

Overheard by: pixelvisions

Woman: One day they have Angelina sleeping with Tom Cruise, now they say she’s with Brad.

–Food Emporium, Broadway & 68th

Hipster chick: You know, they have all these sodas with added lime flavor, but why don’t they ever do Sprite with lime?

–14th & 7th

Overheard by: Melissa

Huge guy: So he comes up to me and gives me the $600 that he owes me. I took one look at the bills and thought this was the worst counterfeit job I’ve ever seen so I beat the shit out of him…Did you know they have a new $100 bill?

–35th & 8th

Overheard by: Paul Ferris

Woman: Sometimes I see underwear I don’t even understand.

–Victoria’s Secret, 82nd & Broadway

Overheard by: djlindee

Pre-school teacher lady: If they didn’t build the subway, we wouldn’t have Home Depot or Lowe’s.

–NY Transit Museum

Overheard by: Trix

Posted on October 5, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Business and Commerce, Pop Culture, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Just Wait Until He Hits Satellite…

Mom: I don’t know where you learned a word like that! Where would you hear that? That’s a bad name. We don’t call people that. I just don’t understand where you would have picked that up. Maybe from Howard Stern.

–2 train

Posted on September 1, 2025
Kids, Moms, Music, On the Subway, Pop Culture

Wednesday One-liners Love Their Sports

Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times.

–Flatiron office

Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game.

–40th Street office

Overheard by: Clay Caviness

Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover.

–Broadway & Prince

Overheard by: Christopher Miner

Posted on September 1, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Food, Football, Pop Culture, Sports, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Depends on If She Was Coughing Up Blood

Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.

–6th Avenue & 11th Street

Posted on August 27, 2025
About Celebrities, Celebrities, Girls, Manhattan, People, Places, Pop Culture, The Village, Topics

Wednesday One-liners Make the Cut

Woman: This block has the best garbage!

–2nd Avenue & 8th Street

Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.

–57th & Lexington

Overheard by: Heather

White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.

–Astoria party

Overheard by: Noah Starr

Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.

–Broadway & Prince

Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”

–7 train

Overheard by: Amado Angel

Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.

–Midtown office

Posted on August 11, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Computer, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Fashion, Favorites, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Topics, TV, Union Square and East Village, White People, Women

I Can’t Believe I Used to Waste Money on This Shit

Dork: I saw in the comic that Lex Luthor was President or something like that?
Store guy: Uh huh.
Dork: But now he’s not President in the story in Justice League Unlimited.
Store guy: Right. They’re catching up to that storyline now.
Dork: And they took Supergirl’s DNA and made a clone? And gave her Power Girl’s costume?

–Midtown Comics, Lexington Avenue