Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
Guy on cell: Can you imagine having sex with a two year old and a three year old at the same time?
–79th & 5th
Overheard by: Jackie
College chick: So, best case scenario she thinks you’re a lesbian. Worst case scenario, she thinks you’re a child molester.
–M16 bus
Chick: Oh yeah, ’cause we all know how I like to swap spit. With random people…like the cleaning ladies.
–FIT
Girl #1: Ugh! He gave me the biggest hickey on one of my tits! Gross!
Girl #2: Well, at least it was a hickey and not a burning sensation when you pee!
–Union Square
Dude: I really need a second job.
Chick: You should post on craigslist or something.
Dude: Yeah, right. “WILL DO ANYTHING”.
Chick: Whoa, no, don’t say that. Soon you’ll have two cocks in your mouth and one in your ear.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Peter
Guy on speaker phone: Hello?
Girl: Hi! I’d like to schedule a bikini wax.
Guy on speaker phone: Um, I don’t do those professionally. Just sort of as a hobby.
Girl: Oh, ha ha. Well, can I schedule an unprofessional bikini wax?
Guy on speaker phone: I’m not certified. My technique is too controversial.
Girl: Controversy makes me hot.
Guy on speaker phone: Who the hell is this?
–M66 bus
Queer #1: I can’t remember where you put my chapstick last night.
Queer #2: Really? I sure do.
Queer #1: Oh, shoot. I really needed them, my lips are really chapped.
–LaGuardia flight
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Chick: Yeah man, this girl is totally wild. You should see some of the emails she sends me. The first night we met, I totally hooked up with her in the bathroom of Barracuda.
Guy: Damn, sounds like fun!
Chick: I know, but fuck if I remember what she looks like.
–Prince & Wooster
Lesbian #1: She told me they were having sex.
Lesbian #2: But what does she mean by sex? Do she mean like, fisting or with strap-ons, or what?
Lesbian #1: Well, she just came out, so I don’t think she knows yet.
–Bonnie’s Grill, Park Slope
Overheard by: Andrea
Chick #1: You know what the best orgasm I ever had was? I jerked off with my mom’s jewelry in frount of the mirror. I liked watching it go in and out and thinking that she was going to be wearing it later.
Chicl #2: Oh god! Did you wash it after?
–Bally’s, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
