Queer #1: I can’t remember where you put my chapstick last night.
Queer #2: Really? I sure do.
Queer #1: Oh, shoot. I really needed them, my lips are really chapped.
–LaGuardia flight
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Queer #1: I can’t remember where you put my chapstick last night.
Queer #2: Really? I sure do.
Queer #1: Oh, shoot. I really needed them, my lips are really chapped.
–LaGuardia flight
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Chick: Yeah man, this girl is totally wild. You should see some of the emails she sends me. The first night we met, I totally hooked up with her in the bathroom of Barracuda.
Guy: Damn, sounds like fun!
Chick: I know, but fuck if I remember what she looks like.
–Prince & Wooster
Lesbian #1: She told me they were having sex.
Lesbian #2: But what does she mean by sex? Do she mean like, fisting or with strap-ons, or what?
Lesbian #1: Well, she just came out, so I don’t think she knows yet.
–Bonnie’s Grill, Park Slope
Overheard by: Andrea
Chick #1: You know what the best orgasm I ever had was? I jerked off with my mom’s jewelry in frount of the mirror. I liked watching it go in and out and thinking that she was going to be wearing it later.
Chicl #2: Oh god! Did you wash it after?
–Bally’s, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Woman #1: …and I was crouching down with my 6 or 7 inches of my bare ass showing, it was so embarrassing, and he stayed there!
Woman #2: Maybe he was a pee fetishist!
Woman #1: But he was young!
Woman #2: Maybe you turned him into a pee fetishist!
–Noho office bathroom
Businessman: …and once word gets out that you like to fuck girls with no legs, everybody thinks you’re a freak!
Crony: Yeah, I bet.
Businessman: I’ll send you the pictures.
–Maiden Lane & Water St.
Overheard by: Dave Kelleher
Woman on cell: Oh baby, I was having a sex dream about you and in it you bit my neck so hard I woke up all sweaty….wait, hold on, my boyfriend is on the other line.
–7 train
Overheard by: Sassy_Girl
Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Prim lady: Even whips and chains can’t keep boy problems from being typical.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
College student to friends: One time I just want to be caught in a sexually compromising situation with nothing but my bubble wand blower.
–27th & 7th
Overheard by: LFB
Queer on cell: When you handcuffed me, ohhh yes… No, I don’t think there’s a railing I could use right now. No… I’m not taking them out of my bag! Ugh, fiiine… Be there in five minutes… You’re baaad! [Runs off giggling.]
–Penn Station
Little girl, to mother: Get off the train! I want to get off! Move away! Move away! Bad girl!
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Chick on cell: Your hook-up buddies would be the type to stow you in a closet.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Nerdy chick: Cognitive dissonance is not my kink.
–Kinoko Sushi, W 72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
