Lesbian #1: We should totally go! I heard they have a keg in the back now. We could do keg stands!
Lesbian #2: Really? I’ve been wanting to get to a keg lately. I’ve been practicing in yoga class.
–Rififi, E. 11th Street
Overheard by: Brad Palmertree
Man: Oh, man! Where have you been all my life?…Can I borrow your lighter?
Woman: Oh, thank goodness. I was like, “I’m flattered, but gay.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: (The) Heather Red
Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street.
–Christopher Street
Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets.
–Christopher Street
Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas.
–JFK Airtrain
Overheard by: les koh
Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know.
–The Stonewall, Christopher Street
Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum.
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Queer: Yeah he’d be perfect for you if he wasn’t straight. You both love dogs.
–13th & A
Girl: So I have, like, this army of lesbians chasing after me, but it’s too bad; I have to tell them I switched back over.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Guy: …sprinkled cocaine in his asshole and snorted it.
–18th between 5th & 6th
Pretty-boy: She’s like, “So I’m not a tranny just because I can’t afford the hormones?” and I’m like, “Um, yeah”. I mean, it’s my party, I can call you “she” if I want to!
–Atlas cafe, Williamsburg
Overheard by: emdashes
Girl: It’s not because you’re gay…it’s because we’re better than you.
–Greenpoint
Girl: Hey, are you gay?
Guy: Er, yeah I am. How’d you know?
Girl: Score! My gaydar is never wrong! Ever since I came out of the closet it’s just always on!
–B49 bus
Overheard by: Arthur B
Lesbian #1: She told me they were having sex.
Lesbian #2: But what does she mean by sex? Do she mean like, fisting or with strap-ons, or what?
Lesbian #1: Well, she just came out, so I don’t think she knows yet.
–Bonnie’s Grill, Park Slope
Overheard by: Andrea
Lesbian: Oh my god! And then all you’d have to do is puke on her and we’d all be even!
–Ginger’s Bar, Park Slope
Guy: Man, don’t worry about kicking that guy’s ass. Like Jesus said, “Turn the motherfucking cheek”, you know?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: PB
Stalkee: …so then out of the blue I get an email that’s like, “Remember me? I broke up with your neighbor like 6 months ago. Wanna get together?”
–Mugs Ale House, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Scalper: Rangers tickets! New York Rangers tickets for sale!
–41st & 7th
College chick: She’s all gay. She’s like, “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.” Then why you fuckin a guy?
–D train
Drunk: I want a bag of cocaine…a bag of cocaine and two lesbians.
Girlfriend: You’re not going to get it.
Drunk: Which, the bag of cocaine or the two lesbians?
Girlfriend: Neither.
Drunk: Fuck you!
Girlfriend: What, am I not good enough for you?
–1st Ave. & 5th St.
Overheard by: Alexander Romanovich
Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Jobee
Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.
–Midtown
Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.
–Harlem
Overheard by: hott bi luvr
Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.
–47th & 8th
Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: staso
Woman to co-worker: So he has all girls as daughters.
–225 Broadway, 4th floor
Overheard by: Jennifer
Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: liza
