Wednesday One-Liners Accept All Seven Genders

Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.

–45th & 5th

Overheard by: Jobee

Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.

–Midtown

Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.

–Harlem

Overheard by: hott bi luvr

Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.

–47th & 8th

Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: staso

Woman to co-worker: So he has all girls as daughters.

–225 Broadway, 4th floor

Overheard by: Jennifer

Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: liza

Posted on May 22, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, God, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Penis, Queer guys, Relationships, Stupidity, The Village, Trannies

Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR.

–Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St

Overheard by: dlr

Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax.

–E Train

Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do.

–E 14th St

Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead.

–NYS Psychiatric Institute

Overheard by: nonrandomerror

Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell.

–Oriental Garden

Posted on September 20, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Drugs, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Hospitals, Kids, Lesbians, Medicine, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

But They’ll Never Spread For You

Guy: Lady, you got great legs.
Lady: I’m a lesbian!
Guy: Okay, you’re a lesbian who got great legs.
Lady: Oh…well, thanks.

–57th & Park

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on August 11, 2022
Body Parts, Lesbians, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Queers, Sex & Relationships, Topics

Don't Be– I've Been Waiting Years to Be Mistaken for a Sir!

Chick: Excuse me, sir?
Butch female worker: Yes?
Chick: Oh…sorry.

–23rd & 6th

Posted on August 2, 2021
Apologies, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Lesbians, Physical appearance

Name The Punchline

Girl: I’m, like, the token one. I’m the only lesbo there!

–West 4th and 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on May 30, 2021
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Lesbians, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Two Men and a Booby

Screaming deranged lesbian to gay leathermen: Who's the titty toucher?
(bewildered looks all around, then a gay leatherman sheepishly raises hand)
Screaming deranged lesbian: Here's a 10% coupon! Thanks for the titty grope!

–The Leatherman Store

Posted on September 19, 2020
Harassment, Lesbians, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Shopping, Store

Like a Celibate Priest With a Huge Dick

Tipsy attractive Asian lesbian to girlfriend: Oh, well. Actually, I just learned how to deep throat in December… Pretty awesome, once you get it down.
Tipsy, equally attractive girlfriend: My last girlfriend said she used to do it, too! Wow, men must hate me.

–Uptown 1 Train

Posted on February 7, 2020
Asians, BJs, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Gripes, Lesbians, On the Subway, Sexuality

Thank God My People Have Never Had to Face Discrimination Like That

Queer to friend: What sign are you?
Friend: Leo.
Queer: Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini I'm going to give it back!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: poor kid

Posted on July 10, 2019
Family Ties, Friends, Lesbians, Stupidity, Washington Square Park

I’d Guess Not Unlike Star Jones

Woman #1: …she’s also a lesbian.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yeah. She’s a black Jewish lesbian mother.
Woman #2: …What do the kids look like?

–Central Park reservoir track

Posted on June 22, 2019
Black People, Central Park, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Jews, Kids, Lesbians, Moms, Parents, Race

Omagah, It’s Wednesday One-Liners!

Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.

–W 52nd & 9th

Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about

Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.

–Wagner College Dinning Hall

Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.

–Christopher Street

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!

–Sarah Lawrence College

Overheard by: bitterfame

Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?

–23rd & 7th

Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]

–Pillow Fight, Union Square

Overheard by: Lillian

Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!

–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave

Posted on November 21, 2018
Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, College, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Happiness, Lesbians, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Not New York, Old People, On Cell, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Staten Island, Street, Threats, Time, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, West Village

Lesbians