Queer on blanket: Babe, I can totally have a drink of your water. I don’t have gonorrhea anymore. My mouth is clean.
Woman: Ew!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Keith
Queer on blanket: Babe, I can totally have a drink of your water. I don’t have gonorrhea anymore. My mouth is clean.
Woman: Ew!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Keith
Queer #1: So, what do you want to do tonight?
Queer #2: I don’t know, what do you want to do?
Queer #1: I want to have sex tonight!
Queer #2: You want to have sex with me!
Queer #1: No, with a stranger!
Queer #2: Well…we could put a brown bag over my head!
–17th & 7th Cafeteria
Lesbo #1: Cocks are gross. Well, ignore the fact that I look at boy porn.
Lesbo #2: You are the weirdest lesbian I know.
–Times Square
Teenage lesbian: Yes you are, you’re the weirdest person I ever met. You think I’m going to invite other people over when we already have plans, and you masturbate even when you get no sexual enjoyment out of it!
Teenage lesbian friend: I am not a fapper!
–W 59th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: that must be terrible
Gay guy: I don’t know why, they just scare me for some reason.
Lesbian: You’re scared of dildos?
Gay guy: Yeah! They’re just…always hard. And that scares me.
Lesbian: They’re gonna get you. They’re gonna come in the night while you sleep.
–NYU Student Lounge
Queer: I don’t want someone to fuck me with their stoma!
–11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Amanda
Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.
–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St
Overheard by: McF
Queer on cell: And I said to him, “Take it like the bottom you are!”
–8th St & 23rd St
Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I’ve ever seen!
–58th & 9th
Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, “Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory.”
–57th & 7th
Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!
–Amsterdam & 83rd
Lesbian #1, indignantly: So, does this outfit look Michigan to you, huh? Does it?
Lesbian #2: (mumbles)
Lesbian #1: That’s what I thought.
–1st Ave & Houston
Overheard by: dignell
Drunk lesbian: Straight cheerleader bitches. I love it.
Girl next to her: Did you just call me a straight cheerleader bitch?
Drunk lesbian: I love you. Fuck you, cheerleader.
–Ani DiFranco Concert
Overheard by: alxie
Lesbian #1: We should start worshipping Satan.
Lesbian #2: Yeah! I bet we could be the first lesbian church of Satan worshippers.
Lesbian #3: That is so hot.
–French Roast, 11th & 6th
Chick #1: I mean, I think we should do it…
Chick #2: Yeah. I mean, you’re gay, he’s gay, and I’m kinda gay…
–St. Mark’s
