Girl: I really wish we had stayed. I totally would have waited in the rain and gotten wet for Beyoncé.
Guy: I didn’t know you were into chicks.
Girl: Wet from the rain, you jackass.

–Times Square

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.

–3rd between B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.

–124th & Manhattan 

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. 


Overheard by: Squatporpoise 

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of social work

Overheard by: Maggie 

White boy #1: I only like to watch girl‐on‐girl.
White boy #2: What? You don’t like dick in your porn? That’s fucking gay.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jesse

Woman #1: I thought you loved me — didn’t last night mean anything to you?
Woman #2: I do love you, that’s why I let you swallow my babies.

–43rd & 8th

Overheard by: Elan

Chick: My husband and I like to go to titty bars in the city. That’s why we get on so well — he likes girls and I like girls.… So, when you hang out with your buddies do you go to titty bars?
Dude: Er, not really — maybe once we went.

–Radio City Fashion Rocks show

Overheard by: Listening in the line

Blonde: You know what I just learned? G‑E‐O‐R‑G isn’t pronounced ‘George’ — it’s pronounced ‘gay‐something.’

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: It’s too cold for stupidity

Fag hag to queer pal: It’s like, we’re like… cotillion‐izing!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: jaded library dweller

Ghetto chick: Yo, he is datin’ Sheryl now. I told him, ‘Tell me when you kiss her.’ He was all, ‘Why?’ so I said, ‘So I know not to kiss her!’ I’m bilingual, yo.

–L train, 3rd Ave stop

Overheard by: katiebeans

Loud woman: That is ‘conniving’ with a capital ‘K’!

–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave

Angry wife to husband: You are so patronistic. I seriously can’t stand how fucking patronistic you are.

–56th & 5th

15‐year‐old girl to group of friends: I be takin’ AP English this year, yo. I the only one in that motherfucker that don’t be lookin’ like they be deliverin’ yo’ egg rolls when they ain’ts in school an’ shit.

–210th St & Bainbridge Ave

Overheard by: gutterlush

Angry woman to friend: I have a contention with the way people pronounce my daughter’s name. I did not name my daughter ‘Lady Nasty’! I named my baby girl ‘La Dynasty.’


Overheard by: The REAL Lady Nasty

Chick #1: I don’t want to hook up with her again.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: I don’t like her eyebrows. They’re too bushy. Is that bad? I’m picky.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Justin

Chick #1: So, what are we doing tonight?
Chick #2: I don’t know… Wanna go down on me?
Chick #1: Jesus Christ, Chelsea, can you be a little louder?
Chick #2: So, is that a ‘No’?

–Central Park

Overheard by: emily

College chick #1: I think I’m bisexual.
College chick #2: What do you mean, ‘think’?
Older guy behind them: What do you mean, ‘bisexual’?

–Express train

Overheard by: Ari

NYU girl #1: It’s almost like… a pseudo‐lesbian crush… I mean, I don’t wanna touch her or anything.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I don’t wanna touch her, I just…
NYU girl #1: I just, like, want her to lay in my bed with me and tell stories.

–Washington Square Park