A Bird in Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

Paparazzo: So you two are really pretty, have you ever done any modeling?
Dutch girl #1: Ha ha ha, not me, maybe her.
Dutch girl #2: No, I am studying history at home.
Paparazzo: You really should consider it, there is great money in it and I would love to help you get started.
Dutch girl #2: Sounds interesting…what type of modeling?
Paparazzo: Well, nude sells the best. We can go over to my place and discuss it.
Dutch girl #1: Great!
Dutch girl #2: Maybe you can take some of us together.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Stephanie Nally

Posted on January 3, 2025
Beauty, Foreigners, Girl-on-Girl, Manhattan, People, Places, Porn, Sex, Times Square

Let’s Stir Up Some Hilarity!

Receptionist: So, it’s your name on the insurance card?
Girl: No, it’s my partner’s.
Receptionist: Your husband?
Girl: No, my partner.
Receptionist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emily.
Receptionist: Your husband’s name is Emily?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Receptionist: Oh…Ohhh.

–Park Slope ob/gyn

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Receptionist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Receptionist: This is gynecology.
Guy: Ah.

–W. 72nd St. ob/gyn

Posted on October 2, 2024
Girl-on-Girl, Guys, Idiots, Medicine, Park Slope, Vagina

But Now That You Mention It…

Girl: I really wish we had stayed. I totally would have waited in the rain and gotten wet for Beyoncé.
Guy: I didn’t know you were into chicks.
Girl: Wet from the rain, you jackass.

–Times Square

Posted on August 21, 2022
A-List, About Celebrities, Celebrities, Getting Off, Girl-on-Girl, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Pop Culture, Sex, Times Square

May/December Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.

–3rd between B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.

–124th & Manhattan

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Squatporpoise

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of social work

Overheard by: Maggie

Posted on August 3, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, BJs, Body Parts, College, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girl-on-Girl, Hair, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kink, Lesbians, Long Island, NYU, Old People, Penis, People, Places, Private Parts, Queer guys, Queers, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sexuality, The Village, Topics, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues

And I’m Gonna Tell Dick You Said That

White boy #1: I only like to watch girl-on-girl.
White boy #2: What? You don’t like dick in your porn? That’s fucking gay.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jesse

Posted on June 12, 2015
Girl-on-Girl, Manhattan, Penis, Porn, Teens, Union Square and East Village, White People

A Third Party Has to Be Involved

Woman #1: I thought you loved me — didn’t last night mean anything to you?
Woman #2: I do love you, that’s why I let you swallow my babies.

–43rd & 8th

Overheard by: Elan

Posted on January 5, 2015
Eating Out, Girl-on-Girl, Love, Port Authority

She’s Actually a Shill for the Cheetah Club

Chick: My husband and I like to go to titty bars in the city. That’s why we get on so well — he likes girls and I like girls…. So, when you hang out with your buddies do you go to titty bars?
Dude: Er, not really — maybe once we went.

–Radio City Fashion Rocks show

Overheard by: Listening in the line

Posted on August 28, 2014
Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Gender issues, Girl-on-Girl, Girls, Guys, Questions, Rockefeller Center

Wednesday One-Liners Suck at Scrabble

Blonde: You know what I just learned? G-E-O-R-G isn’t pronounced ‘George’ — it’s pronounced ‘gay-something.’

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: It’s too cold for stupidity

Fag hag to queer pal: It’s like, we’re like… cotillion-izing!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: jaded library dweller

Ghetto chick: Yo, he is datin’ Sheryl now. I told him, ‘Tell me when you kiss her.’ He was all, ‘Why?’ so I said, ‘So I know not to kiss her!’ I’m bilingual, yo.

–L train, 3rd Ave stop

Overheard by: katiebeans

Loud woman: That is ‘conniving’ with a capital ‘K’!

–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave

Angry wife to husband: You are so patronistic. I seriously can’t stand how fucking patronistic you are.

–56th & 5th

15-year-old girl to group of friends: I be takin’ AP English this year, yo. I the only one in that motherfucker that don’t be lookin’ like they be deliverin’ yo’ egg rolls when they ain’ts in school an’ shit.

–210th St & Bainbridge Ave

Overheard by: gutterlush

Angry woman to friend: I have a contention with the way people pronounce my daughter’s name. I did not name my daughter ‘Lady Nasty’! I named my baby girl ‘La Dynasty.’

–JFK

Overheard by: The REAL Lady Nasty