Getting Off

Woman: When Denzel comes on stage, I’m going to throw my panties up there.

–Belasco Theater, W. 44th Street

Overheard by: Julia Caesar

Chick #1: I still haven’t make him come! It’s become, like, the major quest of my life.
Chick #2: So, basically, you’re Captain Ahab and he’s your Moby Dick?
Chick #1: Do you spend your spare time sitting around and thinking up these retorts?
Chick #2: I lead an empty life.

–Dallas BBQ, 8th & University

Overheard by: Djlindee

Guy #1: I had one of the best karaoke experiences of my life the other night.
Guy #2: Seriously?
Guy #1: Oh yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of great karaoke experiences in my life. There has been few times where I’ve gotten up there and did not receive physical pleasure afterwards.

–40th & 3rd

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Woman: I’m so sick of boyfriends. I want to be single forever. Fingers and vibrators are it!

–43rd St. & 10th Ave.

Overheard by: Jenn X

Girl on cell: I’m telling you, the MTA is like a bad boyfriend. You’re all dressed up and ready to go and the fucking train doesn’t even show up! And the worst part is the next time you totally show up again, ready to go and just have to hope to God that the stupid train shows up. What the hell is that?

–45th & 8th

Black girl: It felt like I was losing my virginity all over again. That was some King Kong kind of shit.

–E train

Overheard by: Philip

Girl: I really wish we had stayed. I totally would have waited in the rain and gotten wet for Beyoncé.
Guy: I didn’t know you were into chicks.
Girl: Wet from the rain, you jackass.

–Times Square

Man #1: So, shit, man, what was it like in prison?
Man #2: I learned how to make a girl out of three baloney sandwiches.

–L train

Overheard by: Sarah Lippek

Woman #1: Yo, you need to come out tonight! We’re going to that strip club!
Woman #2: Yo! Not in front of my son!
Woman #1: Oh, sorry! But it’s that good one we were at that other time.
Woman #2: Damn, yeah! That was some crazy shit!

–Pizzeria, Graham Ave

Overheard by: Mr. Man

Cameraman: They actually have a huge problem every year at Rockefeller Center with all the people standing around at the ice rink and the tree. Guys will jerk off and rub up against people.

–9th Ave. and 55th

Overheard by: Meredith