Getting off

Ethics of video games professor: And that's why they stoned women in the middle ages. Brunette, whispering: I think he gets off on video games.
Blonde, whispering: Ham?
Brunette, whispering: Him!
Blonde, whispering: I am not a ham!
(both girls start laughing)
Professor: Excuse me?

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Margo

High school girl #1: That guy in front of us is pretty hot.
High school girl #2: I thought that, too, until I realized he was touching himself during the play.
High school girl #1: What?!
High school girl #2: Yeah. I guess the Salem Witch Trials turn him on.

Intermission of The Crucible
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: the dude was a freshman.

Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.

Gateway High School

Overheard by: Pilbur

Chick: Wow, you’re radiating!
Sunburned girl: Yeah, that’s the sunburn. Oh, and the fact that I get really horny during exams, and all I can think about is boning… C’mon, you know you all do it.
Chick: Yeah, I go to synagogue for that.