Long Island

Truck driver: Hey you!…Honey…yeah, you…you’re number one…you’re the best of the day, you win!

–Long Island City

Woman: I don’t usually spend $40 on chapstick, but I really wanted it.

–1st & 52nd

Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I'm gay!

–Long Island City

Twin girl #A: Yeah, she said she was going to do the school year here.
Unique girl: She came from Kentucky? Why did she come so far?
Twin girl #B: Louisiana is a state. Kentucky is another state.
Unique girl: Oh, well why’d she come to New York? Couldn’t she stay in her house in Louisiana?
Twin girl #A: Um, no, a hurricane hit New Orleans. That’s why she’s here.
Unique girl: Right, right. I forgot about that.

–Kew Gardens station

Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.


Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too

B&T girl #1: Ow, my ears just popped.
B&T girl #2: Yeah, that’s because we just went into the Lincoln tunnel.

–LIRR, East River

Guy: How many dicks can you fit in your vagina?
Girl: Umm, I'd say five.

–Fire Island

Overheard by: Pranav

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.

–3rd between B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.

–124th & Manhattan

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.


Overheard by: Squatporpoise

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of social work

Overheard by: Maggie

Drunk Long Island girl #1: I am so wasted and I haven’t even thrown up yet!
Drunk Long Island girl #2: It’s like, we’re drunk and we’re from Long Island. We should be all… proper and shit.

–29th & 7th

Overheard by: 100% not drunk

Dancing queer #1: Your hair looks like you put your finger in an electrical socket.
Dancing queer #2: And yours is receding. And here we are.

–Fire Island Pines

Overheard by: Another Dancing Queen

Scary, stalker queer: Hello! You’re really cute.
Scared, stalked queer: I have to consult my lawyer, but I am pretty sure your breath constitutes me suing you for assault.

–Fire Island Pines

Overheard by: Bathroom Spy