Queer: It was my dealer’s fault. If he had coke I would’ve done coke. He only had crystal, so we did crystal.
–Therapy, W. 52nd Street
Queer: It was my dealer’s fault. If he had coke I would’ve done coke. He only had crystal, so we did crystal.
–Therapy, W. 52nd Street
Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out?
–Centre & Chambers
Overheard by: Chris
Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses…
–West 53 Street office
Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess…
–81st & Madison
Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it.
–Starbucks, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: marissa
Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!”
–Bar 288, Elizabeth Street
DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral?
–DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center
Overheard by: RMC
Chick: The problem with reading is that you can’t do it when you’re fucked up.
–31st & 2nd
Woman on cell: I’m so, like, a vegetarian, for real you know? But only, like, on Wednesdays.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Angela
Guy on cell: Dude did so much K that he turned into Terri Schiavo.
–Union Square
Chick: I know this guy who’s perfect for you…he’s a complete idiot.
–Columbia University
Guy: Wow, I didn’t even know things existed here.
–Port Authority, 2nd Floor
Guy: Well at one point he took off his boots, a while later tried to put them back on. I told him that they were the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, “No…these are my feet.”
–Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Kimberly Handle
Guy #1: Yeah man, she was all over me at that bar!
Guy #2: For real? Why?
Guy #1: She was either skanked out on E or freaked out on skank.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: mfs
Guy #1: Are you on crack?
Guy #2: No…
Guy #1: Man, you’re wearing like five jackets. You’re telling me you’re not on crack?
–31st & 8th
Man: So I said, “Bitch, I’ll buy you weed, but you want crack go get it yourself!”
–125th & Park
Woman: I’m not a crackhead. I’m a crack user. There’s a difference.
–Smith & 9th station
Overheard by: Paul Ford
Boy #1: Damn, almost be fallin’ in the tracks.
Boy #2: Dog, you know when you’re on crack you shouldn’t play by the track.
–96th Street 6 station
Overheard by: Eric Barthels
Chick #1: Look, look, it’s that school. You know they be smokin’ ‘n shit over there!
Chick #2: Yeah, why you think we used to go up in there? I love that school, they be doing X in there ‘n shit. Everybody be chillin’ in da hallways doin’ whateva, makin’ out ‘n shit, you know?
Chick #3: For real?
Chick #2: Why you think we used to hang out there?
–D train
Overheard by: CM
Hobo #1: Check this out.
He spits something across the car.
Hobo #2: What was that?
Hobo #1: Tooth.
Hobo #2: Nice, nice.
–F train
A junkie hobo walks directly into the store’s window, almost breaking his nose. Seeing this, his homeless buddy responds, rather outraged: Again?!
–Dunkin Donuts, 23rd St. between Broadway & Park
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Grad student girl: How did your work go today?
Grad student guy: Pretty good. I took some Adderall. God, it helps–it's like crack.
Grad student girl: Oh my god! Really? I'll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad student guy: Damn straight you will.
–Fish Bar, East Village
Overheard by: John-John
Man on subway: Does this train go to 125th Street?
Woman: No. It's going downtown.
Man on subway: Oh, shit. I gotta go to 125th Street and suck a dick to get some crack.
–1 Train
Man: I just like to smoke crack, get naked and fuck young boys. Is that wrong?
Woman: That is very wrong.
–East Village
