Guy: We should totally just trip out on acid and ride the subways all day.
Girl: Which train?
Guy: All of them.
–L Train
Overheard by: BB
Guy: We should totally just trip out on acid and ride the subways all day.
Girl: Which train?
Guy: All of them.
–L Train
Overheard by: BB
Customer: So, what’s new? Been a while…
Waitress: Not much. Kind of a weird day, though. [The owner] was in here with his kid earlier, though, and he was doing E.
Customer: Wow.
Waitress: ‘Wow’ is right. I mean, seriously — who does E anymore?
–Pizza Shop, Mott St, Soho
Italian man: It seems Americans can't spell, like they don't even have command of their own language.
Muslim woman wearing a burqa: Why should anyone learn to spell when all you have to do to get ahead in this country is show some crack? …if you know what I mean.
–Tillies, Brooklyn
Annoyed commuter: Shut up, you jobless crackhead piece of shit!
Crackhead: Fuck you, man, I got a job! I sell crack.
–A Train
Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!
–Broadway & Prince
Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?
–Fordham Plaza
Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?
–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone
Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.
–E Train
Overheard by: Giggling at crack
Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alfie
Lady #1: Where are we going to sleep?
Lady #2: We can put the mattresses together.
Lady #3: But there's gonna be a crack.
Lady #1: I'll sleep in the crack.
Lady #2: I love crack!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Cait Saint
Woman, shouting as she is being told to leave building: You ol' crackhead bitch anyway!
Police officer: You're that last person to be callin' someone a crackhead.
Woman: I ain't a crackhead. I'm a dope fiend! Dope fiend, dope fiend, dope fiend (repeats until she leaves)
–Madison Square Food Court, 31st & 7th
Overheard by: Jeff Johnson
Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?
–Chambers &and West Broadway
Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.
–W 46th Ave
Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!
–West 4th at Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Cory
Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.
–Relish Bar & Grill
Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.
–Arlene’s Grocery
Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Baseball fan #1: Oh, I'm going to get laid tonight.
Baseball fan #2: Are you going to call Alice?
Baseball fan #1: Oh no, you don't understand my life, man! I've got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Baseball fan #2: Dude!
Baseball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Baseball fan #1: You don't understand my life, man! She just does it wherever! I'm literally ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Baseball fan #2: Man, we don't want to know.
Baseball fan #1: I'm ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can't control these things.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: simon
Comedy club rep: Hey, crackheads, come see a comedy show!
Woman: I'm not a crackhead.
Comedy club rep: …yet.
–43rd & 7th
