Teen boy #1: She my nephew’s godmother. He got her a cell phone in prison, yo.
Teen boy #2: How’d he do that?…That’s nasty.
–Penn Station
Teen boy #1: She my nephew’s godmother. He got her a cell phone in prison, yo.
Teen boy #2: How’d he do that?…That’s nasty.
–Penn Station
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
Guy: Just because I got a felony doesn’t mean I’m going to jail.
–outside Kew Gardens Criminal Courthouse
Overheard by: Scott Bee
Man walking down the street with a wooden square around his neck says: I’m an innocent man! I’ve been framed, I’m tellin’ ya!
–Carmine & Bleecker
Black guy: Yo, do y’all got $6? Whoa, whoa, listen, I’m Black but I’m no criminal!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica Gridelli
One-armed cracked-out dude to equally cracked-out girlfriend: And he's lookin' at me like he ain't never seen nobody stealin' before!
–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick
Overheard by: matthias
Drunk man to random girl on street: I mean, I stole this girls' shoelaces, and then she got really mad at me…
–2nd Ave & 4th St
Comedy show peddler: Who wants to buy some stolen shit? (pause) Nah, just kidding, who wants to see a comedy show?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ali
Woman with pink hair to friend: Fuck that bitch, she still stole my clothes when I was in jail.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Renny
Man to woman, about his father: Yeah, he was so great, so smart… A drug addict. He was always there for me. Like, if I needed something, anything, he'd go steal it for me. That's what sticks with you, you know?
–1 Train
Overheard by: RDM
Guy #1: Wow, I can't believe we're at the Macy's parade, I used to watch this on tv as a kid.
Guy #2: I used to watch this on tv in jail.
–34th St
Overheard by: Heibi
20-something girl to friend: You can't be serious!
Friend: Tasteless clear liquid, I'm telling you what.
20-something girl: Hey, are you in jail? Are you on fire? Then shut the hell up!
–Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Victoria Lynne Blakeman
Store guy: You want a baloney sandwich or something?
Dude: Nah. The only time I eat baloney is when I’m in the joint.
–Bodega, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Andy K.
Thug: God, is there anything wrong with you? Do you have horns?
Chick: No.
Thug: A third arm?
Chick: Nope.
Thug: Have you ever been in jail?
Chick: Nope.
Thug: Well, you know, I’ve been in jail…
Chick: Um…
–3rd between 13th & 14th
Overheard by: Elizabeth Wiederseim
Guy: Yeah, I was in jail and got my Associate’s.
Girl: Yeah? Was it free?
Guy: 20 dollars or something.
Girl: Damn! I’m gonna be paying school loans forever! I should go to jail!
–Wai Cafe, 17th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: 167girl
Girl: Oh my god, I just found out that my high school drama teacher has been sleeping with the kid who's the star in all of the shows.
Boy: Shit!
Girl: Yeah, I heard they're both in jail now or something.
Boy: That's like the time that family in my town had those slaves.
–Crowded Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: confused
