Queer #1: So my dad put the dog’s medicine in my eye. It worked, but I was completely scandalized!
Queer #2: Yeah.


Girl #1: Do you think I’m a loser?
Girl #2: What? No. Why?
Girl #1: I haven’t gotten laid in like five months.
Girl #2: There’s a guy traveling cross country to fuck you! I don’t have that.
Girl #1: You got fucked by a porn star! More than once! And she wants to do it again!
Girl #2: We’ll it’s not like she’s flying cross country just for that.
Girl #1: Have you asked her? She might.
Girl #2: Yeah right, I can’t even get my girlfriend to come in from Jersey.
Girl #1: (pause) Ewww. Who wants to be in Jersey.

–Elephant & Castle, West Village

Lesbian: So, I wanted to get my hair cut really short, y’know? And, like, dyed red. But my mom was like, ‘No, you’re too fat to be an Asian man.‘
Asian man: That sucks.

–A train

Lesbian #1: Oh, that store is so much fun!
Lesbian #2: What would we possibly need there?

–Condomania, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Danie 

Girl #1: So after all that, can’ t you understand why I’m pretty much a full‐fledged lesbian now?
Girl #2: In a way, but I think you could still be into guys. I have a hard time believing you don’t have feelings for Jarrod.
Girl #1: No, I really don’t. That’s done.
Girl #2: I totally support you. I just think, you know, there’s more than one way to eat a Reese’s.
Girl #1: Exactly.

–Metro North

Overheard by: ianbobian

Lesbian #1: The G train always takes so long between stops, especially since it’s not going in a tunnel.
Lesbian #2: But it does go through a tunnel.
Lesbian #1: Yeah, but I mean a tunnel under water.
Lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, okay, it’s not going under water.
Lesbian #1: I always wondered how they make those tunnels.
Lesbian #2: They have one of those machines, that goes in circles.
Lesbian #1: Oh, okay…
Lesbian #2: You know, the one that goes in circles really quickly?
Lesbian #1: Yeah… [Pause] But when they build the tunnel in the water, does it go in the water, or under the water?
Lesbian #2: Under the water.
Lesbian #1: Oh, right.

–G train

12‐year‐old girl holding plaid button‐down shirt: Wow, I can’t wait to be a hipster!
Dyke in similar plaid shirt: When did “dyke” become “hipster”?


Overheard by: Starisla

Woman in therapy: So I don’t know, I really liked her.
Therapist: Well, did you talk to her about it?
Woman: No, the bitch doesn’t call me anymore, she does yoga now. We used to go to Star Trek conventions together, but she stopped talking to me. I don’t even care about that bitch anymore.
Therapist: You know, she’s not a bitch just because she doesn’t want to talk to you!
Woman: Yes she is, I don’t even care.

–Forest Hills

Overheard by: They need a sound machine

Lesbian #1: I thought you said your probation officer was out of town this week?
Lesbian #2: My probation officer? My probation officer don’t know shit!

–Bleecker & Sullivan

Gay #1: Sometimes, I just wish I was a stripper.
Gay #2: Oh, I would totally go to see you.
Lesbian: Yeah, me too, but only if you can make the mangina.

–Porn Shop, West Village

Overheard by: me too…