Boy: I’m scared of skeletons.
Chick: How come? They’re just bones.
Boy: No, evil ones. Like pirate skeletons.
–Port Authority
Boy: I’m scared of skeletons.
Chick: How come? They’re just bones.
Boy: No, evil ones. Like pirate skeletons.
–Port Authority
Dumpling dude: Can I take your order?
Biker guy: Uh…can I get 4 dumplings?
Dumpling dude: Sure. What kind, sir?
Biker guy: The ones there with that uh…red monster sauce. No wait, do you have real monsters? I want some real monsters!
Dumpling dude: Sorry sir, we don’t serve real monsters here.
–Dumpling Man, St. Mark’s Place
Beach guy: I’ve seen what happens to people that go in that water. They become mutants.
Beach girl: Our lives can only be improved by becoming mutants.
–Jacob Riis Park
Woman on cell: Tell everybody to come to New York and play D&D with me.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Francesca
Guy: So what you’re saying is that every event in modern history was
caused by a time-traveling Keanu Reeves?
–Chevy’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Kenny B
Boy on cell: …yeah, I know! So then I said, “Bitch, that’s what you get for messing with a level 5 dragon master!”
–C train
Overheard by: Lorelai Greenwood
Fat lady: You know, I don’t think I would make a good vampire…I don’t like staying up too late.
–W. 57th Street office
Crazy lady: Excuse me. Listen, you got some of that witchcraft put on you.
Old lady: Uh huh, yeah.
Crazy lady: You gotta get that lifted, or those spirits, you know, they be comin’ at you, they be on you.
Old lady: Yes.
Crazy lady: All right, take care.
–M86 bus
Ghetto girl calling out pedestrians’ costumes: Rainbow Brite! Sonny and Cher! Pirates of the Caribbean! Bob Marley! Officer!
Cop: Ma’am?
Ghetto girl: Oh, you really a cop.
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: Dressed as a pedestrian
Woman: She had sex with a dragon. She had sex with a dragon! I keep seeing her and wantin’ to ask, “Yo, how’s the dragon?”
–Ollie’s, 69th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Virgin-For-Life on cell: Did you vanquish the dragon?…Yo, I told you to vanquish the dragon! Dumb ass nigga. Damn.
–Gristedes, West Village
Overheard by: KoryD
Nanny to little boy: I think each country must have its own Tooth Fairy.
–5th & President, Park Slope
Overheard by: b
Hipster on cell: It’s cooler, and you’re a vampire. Ok, I get it.
–6th St & 1st Ave
Young hipster: Dude, and then she told me that it was her purpose in life to make the movie Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!
Bearded hipster: Yeah, that would be epically sound!
–49th St
Girl #1: Wow, look at all the babies out here!
Polish queer: Mmm… dinner.
Girl #2: What?
Polish queer: I’m just living up to the stereotype…. Witches? Eating babies?
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant Polish people!
Guy: I thought you meant gay people!
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Caroline
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, did you bring snowflake?
Dad: No, baby, I forgot to pack him.
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, I curse you.
–7 Train
Overheard by: The Vampire Newsbunny
