How Was Your Holiday, New York?

Guy: Did you hook up with anyone on New Year’s?
Girl: Yeah, and he’s like a prince of some country.
Guy: Heh, that’s cool I guess. Did he take you to his palace?
Girl: No, but that would’ve been cool. I’ve always wanted to touch a prince’s penis.

–6 train

Chick: So, I figured we’d ring in the new year with a three-way.

–34th & Park

Chick: There are 3 things I hate about the holidays. One, people who become assholes for no reason. Two, people who become more emotional for no reason. And three, people who are both of the above.

–86th & 2nd

Overheard by: Gwenn Levine

Posted on June 21, 2023
Friends, Girls, Holidays, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Penis, Three is Company, Upper East Side

I’ll Have My Girl Call, Well, You

Well-dressed woman: So, we should have a threesome…
Well-dressed man: Yes, probably…

–10th & 3rd

Posted on October 25, 2022
Men, Three is Company, Union Square and East Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that's how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.

–Fordham University

20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It's like an elevator, but opposite.

–N Train

Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.

–Astoria

20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn't fall down an elevator shaft?

–F Train

Posted on October 9, 2022
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Bimbettes, Compare/Contrast, Death, Families, Food, Fordham, Girls, History & Geography, On the Subway, Questions, Teachers/Professors, Three is Company, Tourists, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Sex With Two Gay Men Sure Won’t Cause Sanity

Queer #1: So how is that girlfriend of yours?
Queer #2: What girlfriend?
Queer #1: You know, the one we had the threesome with.
Queer #2: Oh yeah, Constance…oh, she’s crazy.

–Greenwich & Gansevoort

Posted on June 23, 2022
Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Queer guys, The Village, Three is Company

She’s the Cob, and They’re the Cornholders

Girl: There’s a Duane Reade.
Guy #1: What do we need a Duane Reade for?
Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wearing condoms.

–84th & Broadway

Suit #1: But what happens if our cocks accidentally touch?
Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it.

–52nd & Lexington

Posted on June 3, 2022
Bimbettes, Condoms, Guys, Hootchies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Players, Suits, Three is Company, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Threeway One-Liners

Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Inkling

35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Overheard by: Abby and Holly

20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.

–48th St & Broadway

Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl

Posted on January 25, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Astoria, Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Orgy, Parks, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Three is Company, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

You Can Just Stop Angling for a Two-Guy Threesome

Chick: So, David*, do you long for the protective touch of a man?
Guy: I’m your boyfriend.
Chick: So? Sometimes I think you long for a strong man to hold you and shelter you…
Guy: Goddammit, I am not gay!

–6 train

Posted on November 23, 2020
Couples, On the Subway, Three is Company

I’m Putting You Down As a “No”

Guy #1: Yo, could you ever double team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eiffel Tower that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird being naked next to another naked guy, just banging some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it wouldn’t be weird.

–East Village

Overheard by: Hiromi

Posted on July 9, 2020
Guys, Sex, Three is Company, Union Square and East Village

Dude, She’s British— She Wouldn’t Even Be Grateful

Guy #1: I’d totally have a threesome with Judi Dench.
Guy #2: Uhh, this conversation is getting uncomfortable.
Guy #1: C’mon, dude, dame Judi Dench is the bomb!

–Chelsea

Posted on May 12, 2020
About Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Three is Company, Wishes & desires

After Initially Rejecting My Advances

Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.

–13th & University

Posted on March 3, 2020
Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, The Village, Three is Company, Weirdness

Three is Company