Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.
–13th & University
Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.
–13th & University
20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he's not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he's not gay.
–L Train
Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.
–NYC
Girl to guy friends: I mean, he's okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Angry woman on phone: While you're out having orgies I am doing the real work!
–Victorian Flatbush
Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?
–NYU
Teenager #1: Yo, we gotta do that thang again.
Teenager #2: What thing?
Teenager #1: Yo remember that time we was with Angie, me and you?
Teenager #2: Oh yeah son, that was crazy.
Teenager #1: Yeah, I felt your dick on my butt, son!
–B60 Bus
Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.
–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jaina Wald
Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!
–Wall & Water
Overheard by: Aubrie
Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?
–Central Park
Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?
–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus
Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Natalie
Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.
–22nd & Broadway
Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!
–45th & Lex
Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!
–34th St
Overheard by: naidababy
Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.
–F train
Train conductor: Mr Raymond Johnson, if you're looking for your wife, she's in car #6604.
Random guy: With me!
–2 Train
Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.
–32nd & 6th
Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.
–Penn Station
Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky
Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.
–109th & Madison
Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then
Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!
–Amtrak out of Penn Station
Overheard by: Nipples
Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did everything to the brown-haired girl!
–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th
Overheard by: chloe
Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.
–Astor Place
Queer #1: Whatever, ho, you’re the one who had a threesome with like eight guys.
Queer #2: Don’t be saying that in front of company.
Queer #1: Who, Malcolm? He’s not company anymore. He’s penetrated our inner circle of trust.
Queer #2: How?
Queer #1: Because he penetrated one of our inner circles.
–17th & 8th
Overheard by: Zola mae
Girl #1: Yo, that girl is nasty. She blew her dog.
Girl #2: No, she didn’t. She and her Mamas had sex with Duquan together.
Girl #1: No! Trick! That wasn’t her. She blew a dog. I saw it.
Girl #2: She blew Noodles?
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Anna May M. Abris
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
