Chick: Yo, I don’t mind sharing some pussy so long as she ain’t my wife. If she’s my wife, then I ain’t sharing pussy!
–Time Warner Center
Chick: Yo, I don’t mind sharing some pussy so long as she ain’t my wife. If she’s my wife, then I ain’t sharing pussy!
–Time Warner Center
Old lady: Julian! Get in the elevator, we are holding it for you.
Old man: I am in the elevator, it’s just my ass that was dragging behind.
–Apartment building, 66th & West End
Overheard by: Lubes
Old lady: I’m not moving until the light says go.
Old man: Yeah, you don’t want to get that rundown feeling.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Teen girl: Wow, that’s so sad…
Woman: Yeah, they have no electricity, no water to drink, no food to eat, nothing.
Teen girl: Well, can’t they just boil the water on the ground and drink it? They say the city is flooded with like six feet of water.
Woman: No, honey, that water is way too contaminated to be boiled, and besides that, they don’t have electricity.
Teen girl: Oh that’s so sad. Where is that?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Holly Percey
Woman: So, what is it you like about New Orleans?
–Becco, W. 46th Street
Chick: Apparently there will be another September 11th this month.
–65th & Lexington
Girl: Looks like you got a tan this weekend.
Guy: Yeah, I was out on my friend’s boat but we ran out of gas in the harbor so we were out on the water for a while.
Girl: You know, that was one thing I kept thinking about all weekend, how inflated the price of marine diesel fuel must be.
Guy: It wasn’t my boat so I really don’t know.
They get off the elevator.
Human being: You know, the one thing I kept thinking about all weekend was all the fucking dead people.
–Elevator, Madison & 49th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Queer: As my grandmother used to say, you’ve got one fuckable ass.
–Marie’s Crisis, Grove Street
Overheard by: catherine
Hobo: How you doin’? How you doin’? I’m doin’ good. Yeah, you know I’m doin’ good, cause I’m lookin’ good! And you know why I look good? ’cause I clean mah ass!
–1 train
Overheard by: Alex Valentine
NYU chick: All this work is going to fuck me in the ass so much my boyfriend won’t be able to.
–Silver Building, Waverly Place
Chick: I can’t believe how much he charged me for this disposable camera. I was like, “Why don’t you fuck me up the ass while you’re at it?”
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Black guy: Damn, it smells like open ass around here.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Daniel
Little girl: Do I have to shave all over my body when I grow up? Where will I have to shave most? Where don’t I have to shave? Tell me, you’re old, you should know.
–New York Hall of Science, Flushing
Overheard by: Ting
NYU Chick: 2G? Does that mean it’s on the ground floor?
–11th between Broadway and University
Woman: Would it help to keep a couple dead deer lying around to scare the other ones away?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Teacher: Tyler*, your mom is here.
Tyler: Yay! … Wait, which one?
–Citigroup Children’s Center, 399 Park Ave
Overheard by: sarita92282
Guy: That’s a really old graveyard. They have tombstones going back to the 1600s.
Girl: I dont understand. How is that possible?
Guy: It’s an old church. People were buried there a long time ago.
Girl: Yeah, but wasn’t our country made around the 1770s?
Guy: Yes, but there were colonists here from France, England and Spain before that.
Girl: So they brought their dead relatives over here to bury them?
–Trinity Church
Overheard by: Jonathan Bloom
MTA guy: So, I was like just hoppin’ outta the shower feeling all Irish Spring fresh and shit and I come into the living room and Shawny is sitting on the fucking couch. I was like, “Yo, Shawny…get off the couch!” He looked at me and growled and I was like, “So that‘s how it is?” I went and got a pair of gloves and a wiffle ball bat, came back in and was like, whack, and the little bitch totally chomped onto my leg and shit. I dragged him like that into the kitchen and sprayed into his mouth with Lysol and he hid under the kitchen table. Somebody gotta be the master in the house, yo.
–N train
Teen #1: Can I have a piece of gum? My mouth tastes weird.
Teen #2: Dude, you can’t eat Jesus and expect it to taste good.
–Cathedral of St. John the Divine
Overheard by: Piously laughing
