A trader is on his cell while on the toilet.
Trader: Is there a time-frame here?
Through the stall is heard the response.
Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time.
–Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza
Overheard by: Aaron H.
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet.
Trader: Is there a time-frame here?
Through the stall is heard the response.
Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time.
–Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza
Overheard by: Aaron H.
Woman on cell: I’m telling you, men just don’t have to go through anything like this. They just don’t. I fell at Dunkin’ Donuts today. I fell. I hadn’t eaten a thing all day.
–UES elevator
Man on phone: Nicole, Nicole, you’re wrong. Why don’t you calm down and listen to Mr. Logic? Mr. Logic says…
–Office, Midtown
Overheard by: Trouble
Headline by: JohnnyB
Runners-Up:
· “… You Probably Had Herpes Before You Met Me.” – KJM
· “…maybe Dating a Writer for Sesame Street Wasn’t Such a Good Idea.” – df
· “It Won’t Do Any Good If She Can’t Actually SEE the Hand Puppet.” – Zenece
· “Now Tom, That Only Works on Katie…” – Lindsey
· “Worst Penis Name, Ever.” – Jim C.
· “You’re 8 Months Pregnant, Birth Control May Be Moot” – Rose
Chinese coworker: Hey, you’re wearing makeup today!
Jewish coworker: Yeah, I had a little extra time this morning.
Chinese coworker: But I thought Jewish people couldn’t wear makeup?
Jewish coworker: Huh!?
–Office Building, 26th & 11th
Chick: Happy birthday!…What’s your name?
–203 Spring, Spring Street
NYU professor: And so the Chinese invented statistics to take censuses. (to girl) Would you have been counted?
Girl: Um… Yes?
Guy: No, because they only counted men in the censuses.
Professor: Right, because this was back in the good old days, when men were men and women were washing machines.
–NYU Kaufman Building
Overheard by: Erin
Man: I don’t have a thousand dollars to give you.
Woman: You do too, sir.
Man: I don’t. I can give you some money today, but I don’t have a thousand.
Woman: You do too, sir.
Man: I can write you a check later this week, but I don’t have a thousand right now.
Woman: You do too, sir.
–Courtroom D, 100 Center St
Overheard by: Inkling
Hunky doorman #1 into his lapel mic: He wants to know how much you can bench press.
Listens for answer.
To hunky doorman #2: He says, “enough!”
–W Hotel, Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Sean
Employee pointing to wall: See the fire damage?
Tourist mom: Is this where you stash your weed?
–Cathedral of St. John the Divine
Overheard by: amused priest
