Yankees

Yankee fan: Hey, go back to Boston buddy!
Red Sox fan: You know you love Boston.
Yankee fan: Well, that doesn’t make any fucking sense, now does it?

–Yankee Stadium

Usher: Yo, I shouldn’t say this, but I want Lackey to win. I got him on my fantasy team.

–Yankee Stadium

Yankee fan: The Yankees are kicking ass this year.
Straphanger: They’re in last place!

–3 train

Guy #1: They play the Red Sox opening day.
Guy #2: They play who?
Guy #1: The Red Sox. World Series Champions last year, you know?
Guy #2: They had the World Series last year?

–outside Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Julie Mitchell

Drunk girl #1: He has such bad hair.
Drunk girl #2: No, you know who has bad hair? Derek Jeter.
Drunk girl #1: Yeah, but he can’t help it. He’s half black… what? He is.

–Queens

Conductor: This is Willets Point/Shea Stadium. You know, home of the other team. (passengers laugh) You may laugh, but we all know no one really likes the Mets. Anyhoo, have a nice day, everyone. Stand clear of the closing doors.

–7 Train

Overheard by: Kristen

20-something guy wearing Red Sox hat to girlfriend: There's no way we can have kids in New York. They'd be going to school with a bunch of brainwashed Yankee fan offspring, and every night we'd have to be telling them bedtime stories that end with "and they all lived happily every after, except for Derek Jeter, because he's a fuckin' asshole."

–1 Train

Young woman on cell: I'm from New York, but live in Boston, but want to move back to New York… It's hard being a Yankees fan surrounded by fucking Red Sox fans. I can't do it anymore.

–L Train

Overheard by: I agree…

Subway conductor: Yankees fans. This is a Bronx-bound express D. This will not stop at Yankee stadium. Transfer at the next station to the B. (20 minutes later) Yankees fans. I promise you this train will not stop at Yankee stadium. You can transfer to the B at the next station. Or you could just not go to the game. The choice is yours.

–D Train

20-something mother to another, trying hard to look knowledgeable: The Yankees and Mets are playing two games today, the first at Yankee stadium and the second at Fenway, where the Mets play.

–Barnes & Noble Cafe

Woman in Jesus t-shirt: Jesus hates the Yankees.

–Uptown C Train

Overheard by: Penny

Conductor to packed train: Attention, attention passengers. To all Yankee fans on this train, please have a safe day today, and enjoy the game. Personally, I am a Red Sox fan. That is all.

–Uptown 4 Train

Drunk guy: Jesus Christ! My Grandma catches better than you! And she can’t even speak English! Or is alive!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Renee B.

Guido #1, in drunken sing-songy voice: Yan-kees suuuuck! Yan-kees suuuuck!
Guido #2: They win a lot!

–Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: jalabi99

Pilot: We are now arriving in at JFK airport in New York City, home of the Yankees.
Met fan: That's not right…(yelling) What about the Mets?
Pilot: No one cares.
Rest of passengers: (cheering)

–Jet Blue Flight

Newspaper guy, in monotone voice: Get your free amNewYork. (now excitedly) Go Yankees!
Passerby in Yankees hat: Yeah!
Newspaper guy, in monotone voice: Get your free amNewYork.

–34th St

Overheard by: erkala