Buildings

Woman #1: Well, I have a nephew who’s still 10 and enjoys playing with Barbies and likes to cook. Who knows? Maybe he’ll turn out to be gay.
Woman #2: Wait, are most cooks gay? I don’t think so…

–Near United Nations

Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy

Girl looking at abstract wall installation: Oh god. This is pure art. It really speaks to me.
Boy: What does it say?
Girl: (makes loud farting sound and walks away)

–Art Exhibit, Time Warner Building

Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn’t know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there’s Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it’s like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.

–Manhattan Supreme Court

White boy #1: Am I the big, hairy guy?
White boy #2: No, you’re the guy with the assless chaps.

–During game of XBox 360 Guitar Hero, Apartment, Ave D

Woman: What hotel are you staying at?
German tourist: I’m not staying at a hotel. I’m staying at a hostel.
Woman: We’re gonna do it in a hostel?

–Time Warner Center

Lady: I was down in Tijuana getting some dental work done, and I fell asleep in the chair. Best sleep I ever had! They should sedate me more often.

Girl (under her breath): I couldn’t agree more.

–audience waiting room for the Tony Danza Show

Overheard by: Renee B.

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.

–Blockbuster

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.

–A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.

–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room

Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?

–Starbucks, Woolworth Building

NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.

–NYU Dining Hall

Electric guy to himself: Where’s my gloves?
Grip guy: Gloves? I don’t use gloves. I use my bare hands like a man! Only pussies use gloves. Are you a pussy? Be a man, ya pussy.
Electric guy: But then my skin will get all dry and crack and stuff.
Grip guy: Duh, well, yeah. That’s why you have to moisturize.

–Movie set of I Am Legend

Overheard by: Another electric guy

Broker #1: There was a suicide attack in Israel yesterday.
Broker #2: How many people died?
Broker #1: Luckily, only three. They did it in a resort town in the South called Eilat.
Broker #2: They probably did that to get away with it.
Broker #1: It’s a suicide attack. They don’t get away with it, they get blown to pieces.

–Office, Chrysler Building

Overheard by: BoredBroker

Girl #1: She said to meet her in front of some type of iron building.
Girl #2: What’s that?
Girl #1: I don’t know. Some building made out of iron. What’s that building made out of?

–23rd & Broadway