Teen boy #1: She my nephew’s godmother. He got her a cell phone in prison, yo.
Teen boy #2: How’d he do that?…That’s nasty.
–Penn Station
Teen boy #1: She my nephew’s godmother. He got her a cell phone in prison, yo.
Teen boy #2: How’d he do that?…That’s nasty.
–Penn Station
I’m in a bus stuck in traffic. I look out the window down at this woman driving alone in her car. She’s talking on her cell phone. After watching her continue to talk for 15 seconds or so, I see her suddenly put the cell between her ear and shoulder, release the steering wheel and use both hands to give the “in quotes” gesture. I’m sure this helped alleviate any possible misinterpretation of what she was saying to the person on the other end of the phone.
–Lincoln Tunnel
Man on cell: Hey, I just got out of work and…wait…dude, are you having sex?…While I’m on the phone with you?…You…you’re having sex with Amy?…What would…you mean you think the fact that it’s Amy makes it all right to pick up the phone?…No! No! That makes it worse!
–2 train
Queer #1: Oh my god, answering your cell phone is so out.
Queer #2: Oh, I know, nobody does it anymore.
Queer #1: Yeah, like, answering cell phones is so last year.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Trent Ward
Stocker guy #1: Hey, listen to this.
Stocker guy #2: Yeah?
Stocker guy #1: So I’m driving home last night, and my cell phone rings. And it’s a number that I don’t recognize. I pick it up, and say, “Hello?” And there’s this woman’s voice, and she’s like, “Is this Michael?” and I say, “Yeah.” So I’m thinkin’ it’s that girl I met the other day, that I gave my number to. And she’s like, “Did you meet a girl at 88th and 2nd?” And I’m like, “Yeah.” “How old are you?” she asks. And I like, I say, “I’m 34”, but I’m really 44. And then she’s like, “Well, she’s 15. This is her mother.”
–Food Emporium, 87th & Madison
Clerk lady #1: So, like, my kid dropped my cell into the toilet last week.
Clerk lady #2: Oh yeah?
Clerk lady #1: I had to recharge it for over a week before it worked.
Clerk lady #2: Hmm.
Clerk lady #1: When I made a call to my friend, it was all static. And the buttons didn’t work. A few days later my kid picks the phone up and says: “I threw your cell in the toilet! Ha ha!”
Guy: …you took it out of the toilet first, right?
–Duane Reade, 49th & 9th
Overheard by: BBW
Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
A suit drops his cell phone on the sidewalk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in public?
Tourist mom: And this is the exact reason why I don’t want you to move to New York!
–71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ellen
Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Greg Ashley
Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?
–20th & 6th
Overheard by: phyllis pisacano
Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?
–Mott Haven
Overheard by: yev
Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?
–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: dewo
Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?
–27th & 7th pizzeria
Overheard by: dbrock
Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Overheard by: Jax
Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?
–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marc Cassata
Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Old lady #1: Ugh, look at that! She’s driving an ambulance and she’s on the phone!
Old lady #2: Maybe she’s calling a patient.
–M6 bus
Overheard by: feitclub
