Cell Phone

Woman on cell: Well what did you expect? Did you think you could just go into the subway and get a million bucks playing your guitar?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Domi 

Crazy guy: Shaving is so much more important than your cell phone.

–6 train

Teen boy #1: Change your ringtone! Change it! [Slams table.]Teen boy #2: Don’t you like that song? I love it.
Teen boy #1, to others: His phone rings all day — I’m sick of it. I have to have a new song. He gets that many calls, he should have one song for each girl so I’m entertained!

–Little Italy

Ditzy girl #1: It’s so weird. You can actually have arguments on Facebook.
Ditzy girl #2: Yeah! You can follow people’s arguments on wall‐to‐wall.
Ditzy girl #3: That’s so stupid. Why go to all that trouble when you can just pick up your phone and send them a text?

–Downtown F Train

Overheard by: sam

Technophobic lady: There was some crazy lady talking to herself in the bank.
Tech‐Savvy lady: Are you sure? Did she have a Bluetooth?
Technophobic lady: I don’t think she had any teeth.

–54th & 10th

Young society reject to same: You’re the psycho‐freak out! You touch people’s ears at random!

–AMC Theatre at Lincoln Center

Overheard by: G‑Lime

A woman to friend: My friend just became a manicurist. She had her first client today and she only has one hand.

–Forham University

Woman almost forgetting her sunglasses: I would lose my ass if it wasn’t attached to my neck!

–A Train

Overheard by: Don

Student: I think the guy selling cell phones on the street made off with my uterus.

–Touro College of Osteopathis, Harlem

Coworker to another: You have thighs now. When you came here, you had no thighs.

–1250 Broadway

Suit #1 to suit #2: He has the feet of a nine‐year‐old girl!

–44th & Lexington

Suit #1: Then Paul* just totally lost it, and threw his cellphone at Dave*.
Suit #2: My god! What was he thinking?
Suit #1: I don’t think Dave minded that much. He’s Canadian.

–5th & W 57th

Overheard by: Charlotte

Brotha #1, rocking out to Taylor Swift on iPhone: Why do you even have this on your phone?
Brotha #2: Cuz I’m gonna marry a white girl, that’s why.

–2 Train

Guy #1: Dude, they should have a phone where you just say 92454.
Guy #2: Man, they already have that.
Guy #1: Yeah, but without numbers.
Guy #2: Stupid.
Guy #1: They should also have a video phone, so you can see who you’re talking to.
Guy #2: They already have that.
Guy #1: Man, technology is good. But it’s also stupid…Technology is going to destroy us.

–1 train

Overheard by: max

Little girl with brand new doll: Mommy, what should I name her? I think I’ll name her “Pussy”!
Mother: Uh!
Little girl: Pussy! Like “pussycat”!
Mother: Okay… maybe we should think of a different name!
Hipster sitting next to them: I’m going to have to send a few texts about this.


Overheard by: bradlea