Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!
–Broadway & 70th
Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson
Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!
–Broadway & 70th
Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson
Chick #1: Ew! Did that man just take our picture with his cameraphone?
Chick #2: Ew! That is so rude! Why would he do that? Don’t look up. Don’t look up!
Man: Don’t flatter yourselves, ladies. A) You’re not nearly that hot, and B) I was sending a text message to my boyfriend.
–M57 bus
Overheard by: Peter S
Teen boy #1: She my nephew’s godmother. He got her a cell phone in prison, yo.
Teen boy #2: How’d he do that?…That’s nasty.
–Penn Station
I’m in a bus stuck in traffic. I look out the window down at this woman driving alone in her car. She’s talking on her cell phone. After watching her continue to talk for 15 seconds or so, I see her suddenly put the cell between her ear and shoulder, release the steering wheel and use both hands to give the “in quotes” gesture. I’m sure this helped alleviate any possible misinterpretation of what she was saying to the person on the other end of the phone.
–Lincoln Tunnel
Man on cell: Hey, I just got out of work and…wait…dude, are you having sex?…While I’m on the phone with you?…You…you’re having sex with Amy?…What would…you mean you think the fact that it’s Amy makes it all right to pick up the phone?…No! No! That makes it worse!
–2 train
Queer #1: Oh my god, answering your cell phone is so out.
Queer #2: Oh, I know, nobody does it anymore.
Queer #1: Yeah, like, answering cell phones is so last year.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Trent Ward
Stocker guy #1: Hey, listen to this.
Stocker guy #2: Yeah?
Stocker guy #1: So I’m driving home last night, and my cell phone rings. And it’s a number that I don’t recognize. I pick it up, and say, “Hello?” And there’s this woman’s voice, and she’s like, “Is this Michael?” and I say, “Yeah.” So I’m thinkin’ it’s that girl I met the other day, that I gave my number to. And she’s like, “Did you meet a girl at 88th and 2nd?” And I’m like, “Yeah.” “How old are you?” she asks. And I like, I say, “I’m 34”, but I’m really 44. And then she’s like, “Well, she’s 15. This is her mother.”
–Food Emporium, 87th & Madison
Clerk lady #1: So, like, my kid dropped my cell into the toilet last week.
Clerk lady #2: Oh yeah?
Clerk lady #1: I had to recharge it for over a week before it worked.
Clerk lady #2: Hmm.
Clerk lady #1: When I made a call to my friend, it was all static. And the buttons didn’t work. A few days later my kid picks the phone up and says: “I threw your cell in the toilet! Ha ha!”
Guy: …you took it out of the toilet first, right?
–Duane Reade, 49th & 9th
Overheard by: BBW
Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
A suit drops his cell phone on the sidewalk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in public?
Tourist mom: And this is the exact reason why I don’t want you to move to New York!
–71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ellen
