Wednesday One-liners Aren’t the Answer

Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?

–Washington Square Park

Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Greg Ashley

Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?

–20th & 6th

Overheard by: phyllis pisacano

Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?

–Mott Haven

Overheard by: yev

Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?

–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A

Overheard by: dewo

Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?

–27th & 7th pizzeria

Overheard by: dbrock

Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?

–Conde Nast Building, Times Square

Overheard by: Jax

Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?

–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd

Overheard by: Marc Cassata

Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Posted on September 14, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Arts & Letters, Cell Phone, Compare/Contrast, Food, Global Geography, Judaism, Masturbation, Names, Penis, Psychology, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weirdness

“Start giving her mouth-to-mouth, Ashley!”

Old lady #1: Ugh, look at that! She’s driving an ambulance and she’s on the phone!
Old lady #2: Maybe she’s calling a patient.

–M6 bus

Overheard by: feitclub

Posted on September 5, 2025
Cars and Driving, Cell Phone, Old People, On the Bus

Once We Let the Gentiles In, NYC Goes to Pot

Teen boy: If we get a family plan we can talk for free.
Dad: I don’t want to talk to anyone, whether it’s free or not.

–78th & Broadway

Posted on July 28, 2025
Cell Phone, Dads, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Breaking News, Overheard on the Streets of New York

Businesschick on cell: Awww yeah…guess who doesn’t have work today?….Awww yeah, people trying to blow up my building and shit…I think I just saw a tank driving down my street…Wait, I gotta roll, some weird number is popping up on my cellie.

–51st & 3rd

Posted on March 16, 2025
Cell Phone, Idiots, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Suits, War, Women

Spare Some Change, Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: I’m homeless! I’m battling child abuse! The Jews and the Irish are spreading lies about me!

–14th Street between 5th & Union Square

Overheard by: a Jewish-Irish girl

Hobo: Nice chickie, hot, another one, good, love them, there’s a good one. No, wait: that’s a guy.

–29th & Madison

Bald hobo: If I was tall they’d braid my hair! But no, I’m short, so they won’t braid my hair!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Jeremy

Hobo: I’m technologically impaired. Spare a cell phone? An iPod?

–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Rose Yndigoyen

Posted on February 19, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cell Phone, Hair, Hobos, Homeless, Insults, iPod, Panhandling, Wednesday One-Liners

I’m Expecting a Call from Two Magpies

Chick #1: Is that your cell phone ringing?
Chick #2: Julie, those are birds.

–Central Park tennis courts

Overheard by: Susan Vrona Bijina

Posted on January 23, 2025
Animals & Nature, Cell Phone, Central Park, Girls, Parks, Stupidity

The Very Limited Minutes Plan

An old Russian man has put his bag on the seat next to him. An old lady asks him to move it. He refuses as there are other seats albeit not in the front. Things get escalated until the old lady says: You’re a son of a bitch. I’d like to see you hit me with that. I’ll call the cops right now. I’ve got my cell phone!

–B1 bus

(After this exchange our editor handed her his card and told her that she would be on this site. She was confused on so many levels that they kind of cancelled out and she nodded & smiled.)