Rumor Has It

Guy #1: Oh my god, did you hear that Tom Ford just left Chanel?!
Guy #2: Really?! I can’t believe it, he really turned that brand around.

–Bergdorf Goodman shoe department, 5th Ave.

Girl #1: I love Alex’s toes. They are like little bulbous fingers.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you would love Susan’s toes…

–16th St & Union Square West

Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
a pewgle.
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle.

–Deli, 53rd & 6th

Overheard by: Janelle F

Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.

–Greeley Square

Overheard by: Nick Turner

Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!

–4 train

Overheard by: Raden Mutter

Queer #1: Well, I walked in and he was doing it in the bathroom again!
Queer #2: That ain’t what a man do.

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: girl laughing in front

Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!

–Art Gallery, SoHo

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Old lady: I tell you, if you’ve seen one naked cowboy, you’ve seen them all!
Friend: Oh!

–87th & Park

Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: clari

Preppy teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with horses, remember? She liked screwing them — that’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some accident having to do with horses.
Preppy teen boy #1: Yeah, exactly. She was screwing the horse, and then it fell on her. That’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: Dude, that’s so wrong.

–45th St

Overheard by: wow

Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me!

–La Lanterna