Rumor Has It

Katie Holmes: He introduced me to his kids! And he’s taking me to Rome on a private jet this weekend.

–Starbucks, Waverly Place

Overheard by: robinshire

Woman #1: Why aren’t they getting married in the Church?
Woman #2: Well, they did the pre-Cana, but she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome…

–45th & 6th

Overheard by: Nick Draven

Editor: So she went to this party in San Diego and got slipped a roofie. The guy couldn’t even get her home. She had to be taken straight to the hospital. It’s one of those things that you feel terrible for her, but also find awfully titillating.
Art Director: Wow. Crossing the line…
Editor: Hey, I will not keep secrets from myself or you!

–Midtown office

Guy #1: Oh my god, did you hear that Tom Ford just left Chanel?!
Guy #2: Really?! I can’t believe it, he really turned that brand around.

–Bergdorf Goodman shoe department, 5th Ave.

Girl #1: I love Alex’s toes. They are like little bulbous fingers.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you would love Susan’s toes…

–16th St & Union Square West

Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
a pewgle.
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle.

–Deli, 53rd & 6th

Overheard by: Janelle F

Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.

–Greeley Square

Overheard by: Nick Turner

Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!

–4 train

Overheard by: Raden Mutter

Queer #1: Well, I walked in and he was doing it in the bathroom again!
Queer #2: That ain’t what a man do.

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: girl laughing in front

Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!

–Art Gallery, SoHo

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Old lady: I tell you, if you’ve seen one naked cowboy, you’ve seen them all!
Friend: Oh!

–87th & Park