Dude #1: You’re so slutty!
Dude #2: We’re both so slutty…
Dude #1: Heh, I know…if these balls could talk…
Dude #2: It’s gotten to the point where, if I’m about to do it with a guy, I drop your name, just to be sure.
–55th & 9th
Dude #1: You’re so slutty!
Dude #2: We’re both so slutty…
Dude #1: Heh, I know…if these balls could talk…
Dude #2: It’s gotten to the point where, if I’m about to do it with a guy, I drop your name, just to be sure.
–55th & 9th
Crackhead to French girls: This side of the station is for crackheads only. You are in violation of code 113, this area is reserved for crackheads only. So move now.
–110th St Train Station
Film man: Gimme five minutes and I’ll give you my left nut.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: S&J
Suit on cell: You hooked up with a 300‐pound girl?
–14th & 3rd Ave
Mexican guy: You look like 50 Cent. But in Mexico, your name would be 50 Pesos.
–Caliente Cab Restaurant , 488 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Mon
Thug: My wife hit me up for fitty bucks, and then my girl hit me up for another fitty bucks, and now I’m all tapped out.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Juliet
Conductor: Come on people! You were born with two eyes. If you would just use them to see that there are three different doors to the train, you would know that you’re holding people up trying to go home! Use your eyes and head and go in another door that people aren’t trying to get out of…Use the head people…Use the head!
–1 Train
Overheard by: megan
Econ major: So is that quadrillion as in past trillion?
–Classroom, NYU
Suit #1: Who would win in a fight, a cheetah or a chimpanzee?
Suit #2: Definitely the cheetah.
Suit #1: But what if the chimpanzee kicked the cheetah in the balls?
–34th & Madison
Drunk guy #1: Yo, how funny was that when I told him, ‘Dude, just stick your balls in her mouth’? Remember that?
Drunk guy #2: Ewww, man, his balls are disgusting!
–LIRR
Overheard by: mrbojangles
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.
–W Train
Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.
–PATH Train
Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, “What, like Gary Coleman?” and I’m like, “No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!”
–4th & 10th
Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It’s totally fine.
–E 11th St
Overheard by: j
Suit on cell: And I was like, “Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera”!
–Bedford & 6th St
Black girl on cell: I told you, we’re like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.
–Borders, Wall St
Overheard by: step
Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can’t put this on MySpace. I’m wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!
–Outside Barrymore Theatre
Overheard by: Pasta…Salad
Girl to no one in particular: I want to have sexual intercourse with you.
Friend: Sexual intercourse sounds like they want to put their balls inside your vagina too.
–172 St & Jerome
Overheard by: Emm
Construction worker #1: Yeah, she brought out the body oil and was rubbing it every! I was like “I don’t think I’m going to last too long now!“
Construction worker #2: That’s one of those dates where you really need to beat off before you go! You really gotta hit the testicles!
–42nd St & 8th Ave
20‐ish guy: Can I please put my balls in your hair?!
Girlfriend: No! Knock it off!
–Staten Island Ferry
Loud, shit‐faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
–Metro North
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
–A Train
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
–A Train
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom
