Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Cute girl #1: I kissed Santa!
Cute girl #2: I just grabbed his balls!
–Viacom holiday party, 34th St
Three-year-old girl: They got balls!
Mom: Balls?
Three-year-old girl: Yeeeeah!
–Globetrotters Game, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: amira
Woman: I’m sorry, I know this is probably a lot to ask for, so I apologize, but do you think that you could maybe close your legs a little bit, please?
Suit, with his legs still spread wide: No. My balls are too big.
–7 train
Overheard by: cowering in corner
Girl #1: So I think I saw a picture of this guy I know from class in Cosmo the other day. He was describing how he once cheated on his girlfriend.
Girl #2: No way! That guy has some balls, huh?
Girl #1: Huh? I don’t know. It was a picure of his face.
–Starbucks, 14th & 6th
Man to woman: Well, I've already been in two successful marriages…
–Hudson River Park
Talkative husband to blase wife: We've been married for over a year, who would not like us?
–F Train
Overheard by: Elise
Girl: So, when you say "married," is that like "married-and-just-not-divorced-yet," or like "married-married-and-actually-living-together"?
–6 Train
Woman on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't marry Susan's brother, because he ended up losing a testicle.
–DUMBO, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Megan
Woman on cell: Sorry, but if I wanted to be heavily sedated and drunk all day, I'd marry you.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Josh
Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you marry her!
–77th & 34th
Guy: That’s pretty ballsy.
Chick: Honey, I have testicles. The reason I don’t wear skirts is not ’cause of my chicken legs, it’s ’cause I don’t want people to see my huge, hanging testicles.
Guy: …well, all right.
–44th & 5th
Overheard by: Kevin
Suit: Have you ever seen Conan in HD? His face looks like a scrotum.
–Maggie’s Place, E. 47th Street
Overheard by: Grimbil
Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
