Woman #1: Are his balls brown?
Woman #2: No, they’re light like mine.
–The Village
Overheard by: Amy
Woman #1: Are his balls brown?
Woman #2: No, they’re light like mine.
–The Village
Overheard by: Amy
Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck.
–Bleecker and Crosby
Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls?
–53rd St & 8th Ave
Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal.
–Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C
Overheard by: LeahPia77
Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Pilar
Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon.
–A Train
Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?!
–41st and 7th
Overheard by: Justin
(scary looking man scratching balls waiting to cross the street with a four-year-old in one hand. Little boy copies his daddy in scratching his balls)
Little boy: Ouch! It hurts!
Scary man: That's cause you're not doing it right.
–E.16th St, Brooklyn
Wholesome-looking man, walking with several families with kids and carrying a cross: Jesus Christ died for our sins today so that we can all give blowjobs whenever we want!
–Union Square
Girl with food: Do you think I'll get on the JumboTron if I deep throat this pickle?
–MSG: Rangers – Caps Playoff Game
40-something, during high school reunion: How dare you tell my husband I gave you a blowjob? I was a virgin in high school!
–Outside Jake's Dillemma
Women on cell: I told him, if he didn't start shampooing his pubes I would stop blowing him!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Middle-aged Romanian: I heard he gives better BJs than Santa Claus!
–Astoria
Overheard by: Crazy Romanians
Female: Stop calling me “dude,” I'm a “dudette”! I haven't got cojones.
Male: You never let me look.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: bonobobill
Guy #1 holding porn DVD: I would so love to fuck a girl that was into DP.
Guy #2: Yeah, me too, but ball touching is so gay, and I’m trying to recover from the cock.
Headline by: Will
Runners-Up:
· “Because hot cock requires cold turkey” – Greg Costello
· “He also just had laser surgery for his masturbatory blindness” – remark
· “I know dad, i know.” – nick
· “I think there’s a 12 inch program for that.” – nick
· “Rectum? That rooster nearly killed ‘im!” – Dalton
· “Step One: Stop going to the porn shop with your “buddy”” – DanaLishs
Father: It was the Million Man March. It was a million men marching in the capital for our people.
Son: No girls? No moms?
Father: No girls, just men.
Son: So there was a million penises?
Father (trying to bring it back onto subject): Yes. But it was the Million Man March.
Son: So there were two million balls?
Father: That's not the point.
Son: But everybody had one penis and two balls, right?
Father: Presumably.
–4th St & 125th
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Cute girl #1: I kissed Santa!
Cute girl #2: I just grabbed his balls!
–Viacom holiday party, 34th St
