Girl: What the fuck are you doing?
Guy: It was the train.
Girl: No, it fucking wasn’t.
Guy: I thought it would be fun.
Girl: You know what would be fun? Me kicking you in the balls.
Guy: That wouldn’t be fun.
Hobo: That would be a shitload of fun! Can I play?
–A train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Dude #1: Yeah, I'm talking about my scrotum.
Dude #2: Just to be specific.
Dude #1: My nutsack. (pause) Man, I gotta go back to that strip club.
–55th b/w 5th & 6th
Girl: Don’t walk me behind me, I’m about to fart.
–Times Square station
Girl: God, it smells like an armpit farted in here.
–Rififi, E. 11th Street
Overheard by: Miso
Guy on cell: Baby, baby, please, listen, I just, I’m almost there, c’mon, I’m comin’ up on your building now, baby, don’t be like that! Look out the window and you’ll see me! Shit, you can smell me, baby.
–12th & D
Fratboy: My shorts smell like a little boy’s balls.
–Coney Island beach
Overheard by: Alissa
Woman: Just so you know, it smells like someone urinated in there.
–Banana Republic, 16th & 5th
Overheard by: beth wren
Little girl: Look at all the balls!
Dad: No! No! Don't touch them!
–79th & Lexington
Overheard by: chiggie
Guy #1: Do you have grey hair on your neck too?
Guy #2: Yeah, I do.
Guy #1: Oh, thank god, I thought I was the only one.
Guy #3: Don't worry, you should see my testicles.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Steve
Young boy: Mom, what are those two things?
Mom, reading display: That’s your scrotum, right there…
Young boy: What’s a scrotum?
Mom: It’s your… That thing… Oh, you know what it is!
–Bodies Exhibit
Overheard by: Marty
Old man #1: I been walking around all day with a hole in my pants and didn't know it.
Old man #2: When did you figure it out?
Old man #1: When I sat on the seat on the train and one of my balls felt like I dipped it in a bowl of ice cream.
–DUMBO
Girl in stall: I love his tiny Irish Balls. But hey, that guy is pretty cute.
Friend: yeah, I know right. I mean, if he wasn’t cute, I wouldn’t let him keep grabbing my crotch. right?
–Ladies Room, Red Rock West
Overheard by: Rachel
Little girl, pointing at a bathtub full of candy balls: What are those, daddy?
Dad: Those balls are dirty.
–Candy Shop, 63rd St & 3rd Ave
Dude: Is it true the city is outlawing fat trannies?
–14th & 9th
Girl on cell: … But the conversation is getting so good! I’m announcing my attraction to trannies, and you’re talking about the S-and-M relationship of our friends!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Poogins
Crazy drunk man to 11-year-olds: Suck my dick, bitch! And my pussy!
–F train
Tranny to Jehovah’s Witnesses: You don’t know nothing about God. I ain’t got no testicles. You can’t tell me about God.
–149th & St. Nicholas
Overheard by: KcB
Chubby guy: I don’t hang with women with tits smaller than mine.
–Sidewalk cafe, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Big Larry
Butch woman on cell: So, Jennifer — you know, my ex-wife’s boyfriend…
–Payless Shoe Source, 34th St
