Rumor Has It

Straight girl: …so wait, it closed?
Straight guy: No, the Cock moved into the Hole.

–12th & A

Overheard by: James Stark

Guy #1: Hey, I figured something out.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Jesus is coming back today!

–City Bakery, 18th & 5th

Overheard by: McCrum

Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.”

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Girl #1: Would Nick like this?
Girl #2: What, walking here? In this place?
Girl #1: I’m asking.
Girl #2: No way. Nick just wouldn’t get this.
Girl #1: How do you mean?
Girl #2: Nick wouldn’t get this. For Nick if it doesn’t, like, have boobies every 90 seconds, he just switches off.
Girl #1: Right.

–The Met

Overheard by: Cliff

Australian girl #1: Winkieland?
Australian girl #2: Yeah, there are Winkies in Oz. I was one — I wore a stocking on my head and a potato sack.
Australian girl #1: Cool.

–50th & Broadway

Overheard by: CLA

Wholesome-looking man, walking with several families with kids and carrying a cross: Jesus Christ died for our sins today so that we can all give blowjobs whenever we want!

–Union Square

Girl with food: Do you think I'll get on the JumboTron if I deep throat this pickle?

–MSG: Rangers – Caps Playoff Game

40-something, during high school reunion: How dare you tell my husband I gave you a blowjob? I was a virgin in high school!

–Outside Jake's Dillemma

Women on cell: I told him, if he didn't start shampooing his pubes I would stop blowing him!

–14th St & 9th Ave

Middle-aged Romanian: I heard he gives better BJs than Santa Claus!


Overheard by: Crazy Romanians

Girl #1: I guess he’s not around.
Girl #2: He’s in jail!
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Darell’s in jail, girl.
Girl #1, pouting: Ohhh… And he just got his business cards!

–145th & Frederick Douglass, Harlem

Overheard by: Ernie Privetera

Dude: Sorry I couldn’t make it Friday night. I heard it was quite a doody.
Chick: Yeah, it was so good that everyone shit their pants.

–32nd & 7th

Freshman boy #1: … ‘Cause when girls be getting freaky they get all… creative and shit.
Freshman boy #2: Yeah!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Adrienne G.

Short Jamaican cabbie holding up newspaper: Man, this guy must have a big dick!
Arab deli guy: No, they did it on the moon. It’s different up there.

–Deli, 28th & 10th

Overheard by: lunch on 29th