Foreign guy: Chicken fries.
Burger lady: What do you want to drink?
Foreign guy: Beer.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer.
Foreign guy: Budweiser.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer, sir.
Foreign guy: No beer? You have no beer?
Burger lady: No, sir.
Foreign guy: Can I see the manager, please?
–Burger King, 33rd & 5th
Overheard by: thomas
Girl: Excuse me, do you have Anbesol?
Cashier guy: Animals? No. No animals.
Girl: No, Anbesol…it’s for gums.
Cashier guy: All of the gums are right here.
–Deli, Astoria
Overheard by: Someone who thought it was “Ambesol”
Cashier chick: Next guest, step down.
Guy: Yeah, can I have a small chicken burger?
–Wendy’s, 6th Avenue & W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Scarlet
Girl: Hi, I’d like a medium iced coffee with lots of ice, skim milk and Equal, please.
Cashier chick: What kind of ice?
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Penn Station
Overheard by: devila
Woman: I’d like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Cashier lady: I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re kosher.
Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.
–Nathan’s, LaGuardia
Cashier dude: The only credit cards we accept are American Express.
Old guy: Do you take Visa?
–Costco, LI City
Guy: Hey, can I get some cigarettes?
The newsstand man just rocks back and forth mumbling something.
Guy: Excuse me, can I get some cigarettes?!
Newsstand man: …Yes, sir. Cigarettes. Sorry, I was praying.
Guy: Oh. I thought you were masturbating.
–Times Square newsstand
Caribbean guy: Hey, I’m looking for a Jason Ghi-ambi baseball bat.
Store guy: An autographed bat?
Caribbean guy: I’m not paying fifty dollars for no bat.
Store guy: What do you need the bat for?
Caribbean guy: I just really need to bash someone’s head in, you know what I’m saying?
Store guy: You don’t need a Jason Giambi bat for that. Any of these bats can be used for bashing someone in the head.
–Triangle Sports, Flatbush
Overheard by: Owen
Tourist chick: Yeah, I like New York, but I could never live here.
Salesguy: Yeah…
Tourist chick: But I mean I love the West Village.
Salesperson: Totally…
Tourist chick: It’s just like so expensive to live here.
Cashier guy: That’ll be $407 please.
–Jack Spade, Greene Street
Overheard by: Quirine
Customer: Christ, there are beautiful women every time I come in here.
Cashier: Yeah! All day long! It hurts!
–St. Mark’s Gourmet Market, St. Mark’s Place
