Strand cashier: It’s like that when I go downstairs. I get all creeped out. It’s like, “Wait a minute! Why do I feel like the new guy? I’ve been here a year and a half!”
–The Strand
Strand cashier: It’s like that when I go downstairs. I get all creeped out. It’s like, “Wait a minute! Why do I feel like the new guy? I’ve been here a year and a half!”
–The Strand
Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
Chick on cell: You know what’s weird? You’re a nigger but in pictures you look like a white boy. Why is that?
–F train
Overheard by: Julie
Black guy on cell: They black people down there! I’m from New York, I don’t know nothing about black people!
–Boerum Hill bodega
A Black man with a cane approaches a white girl sitting on steps and says: Have you ever, since the day you were born till the minute you woke up this morning, desired a black man?
–18th & 8th
Girl: I don’t want to be racist. I mean, not out loud.
–Broadway & Houston
Cashier: I am so sick of Destiny’s Child!
–Virgin Megastore, Union Square
D’Agostino check-out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?
–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow
Customer: Yeah, can I get one for the movie where the girl’s vagina has teeth?
Box office cashier: Sorry, sir, this show’s sold out. The next one’s at 8:25.
Customer: Sold out? How many people actually want to see a movie where a girl’s vagina has teeth?
–City Cinemas, 12th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Guy: This sweater is huge!
Girl: Get fat.
Salesguy: Ha, ha! Wow, I needed that.
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th & 3rd
Dude: Hey, these papers are free, right?
Checkout Guy: No, they’re 50 cents.
Dude: But it’s Saturday.
Checkout Guy: Right. And it’s still 50 cents.
Dude: Aw, c’mon man! The Pope is dying!
–Food Emporium, 12th & 6th
Overheard by: MLR
Middle-aged woman to others: Just because she's got her own apartment, she thinks she has it all together.
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy to another, about his apartment: All I want to do in my apartment is die.
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Woman on cell, walking briskly: There was blood all over the apartment…
–E 9th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Cashier to male shopper: Dude, your apartment is rent-stabilized and you have food stamps? You are so rich!
–Whole Foods, Houston & Bowery
20-something trendy Jonas Brother-looking dude on cell: No, I sleep on the couch that's in the kitchen. (short pause) I'll tell you about my apartment later.
–9th Ave b/w 14th & 15th
Overheard by: Dash
Cashier #1, holding black deflated balloon-thing: Dis thing don't work, I been blowin' it, but it don't blow.
Cashier #2: It ain't blow? You try to poke it? Wha' happen when you pokin it ?
Cashier #1: I just been tryin' to stick it in, and it ain't work.
–Duane Ready
Overheard by: I Love Duane Reed
Hipster, walking to registers with an armload of toothpaste: Who wants me?
Cashiers: (stare blankly, not moving)
Hipster: What, no one wants me? Ah, damn. That's sad.
–Duane Reade
