Real Estate

NYU girl #1: Oh my god, could you imagine living in that apartment building with no windows?
NYU girl #2: Honey, no.

–Outside Manhattan Detention Center, Centre St

Polish man: Her 3 bedroom apartment in Williamsburg is empty for 9 months every year!
American man: What am I missing here?
Polish man: She’s an idiot!

–Union Square

Attorney: Wow, it’s really bad outside!
Front Desk Lady: I hope it’s not like that when it’s time to go home.
Attorney: Hey, don’t you live in Staten Island?
Front Desk Lady: No I don’t. And even if you buy me a $4 million house there, I still wouldn’t live in that dump.

–Midtown office

Overheard by: Felson

Twentysomething girl: So, you think I should tell him I’ll sleep with him for that apartment?
Supportive friend: Oh, absolutely.

–2nd Ave station

Realtor #1: New York is a great place to move to. They say if you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere.
Realtor #2: Anthony, that’s not what they say. It goes, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” 

–2nd & Houston

Girl #1: I have the best view of the Hudson River from my bedroom window.
Girl #2: Oh, did you move to the West Side?
Girl #1: Um, no. I still live on the East Side.
Girl #2: You mean the East River?
Girl #1: Whatever, you’re not invited.

–University & 10th

Hipster #1: So, I’m going to buy a place. I can’t afford much, but I’m totally willing to go ghetto.
Hipster #2: Really? You know you can get some pretty good deals a few stops on the G line.
Hipster #1: Dude! I said I was willing to go ghetto, not live on the G!

–Metropolitan & Lorimer, Brooklyn

Overheard by: JP

Guy #1: You know it’s just a name the real estate agents came up with so they could raise the rents.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Red Hook.

–B61 bus

Overheard by: Becca McLean 

Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor.

–47th & 9th

Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess. 

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Max T‑M

MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first.

–MTV cafeteria

Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6‑foot pet!

–1 train

Overheard by: spike