Sober girl: Did you know your mother has a penis?
Drunk girl: My mom’s wild!
Sober girl: So did you know?
Drunk girl: It’s great, man, it’s great.
–1 train
Sober girl: Did you know your mother has a penis?
Drunk girl: My mom’s wild!
Sober girl: So did you know?
Drunk girl: It’s great, man, it’s great.
–1 train
Al Bundy guy: …So I told her, “Yo, I can’t do that, you’re my sister! You want it? Show me we’re not blood. Prove to me we’re not blood related. Then you can have it.”
–Anbar Shoes, Reade Street
Latina: So, his name is Louis, and his brother’s name is Louis–like can you get more Dominican?
–1 train
Overheard by: Karen
NYU girl: Yeah, I think I’m good looking. I mean, if I had a twin, I would totally hook up with him.
–Broadway & 10th
College girl #1: …and this guy’s a really good kisser and they turn on the lights and it’s your dad!
College girl #2: Oh my god, I know! I hate it when that happens!
–5th Ave. & 13th St.
Overheard by: Dave Della Costa
Dude #1: Ew, bro, that's incest!
Dude #2, sheepishly: No, it's not…
–W 9th St & 5th Ave
Girl: Hey, which one of you doesn’t like incest again?
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: gil ber
College student: This is the best Barnes & Noble I've ever seen!
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Student: So, the author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we're calling him L-train.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Harker
Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I'm reading. It's off the hook! They're sending in this undercover agent, and I think it's his sister, but he's all getting ready to have sex with her!
–White Castle, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & Noble. (pause) Nigga, I can read!
–Union Square
Little British boy: Oh my goodness, dad, look! They have books on dating. How to Date? is probably like, "Don't take her to McDonald's!"
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Laura
Tattooed artsy guy, putting hand on artsy Asian girl's shoulder: I read your book and really liked it… lotta pissing, huh?
–Mott & Prince
Dude: Are you guys going to get, like, totally drunk tonight and make out?
Sister #1: I'd do it for a lot of money.
Sister #2: A lot of money.
Sister #1: I'd do it for a little money.
–Uptown 1 Train
Bro #1: Well, did you know she was your cousin before you had sex with her?
Bro #2 (obviously upset): No!
–Fordham University
Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!
–Trump Building
Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too
Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.
–Queens
Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.
–Governors Island ferry
Overheard by: boring
Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…
–4th Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Jessica
British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!
–Silver Center, NYU
Girl #1: So, yeah, his dick was this big (stretches fingers). I guess the rumors about black guys are true.
Girl #2: Kinda reminds me of my dad.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2, awkwardly: I was only joking!
–Broadway
