Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What’s he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I’m on tv! (manic laugh)

–B64 Bus

Overheard by: Ben

Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don’t want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!

–17th & Irving

(pedestrians are crossing when they aren’t supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: momes

Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car!

–Jerry Orbach St

Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I’ma getting hit by a car, I’ma getting hit by a nice car.

–Broadway & Houston

Tourist driving car: I don’t give a fuck if you own the world! I’m running your ass over!

–Financial District

Overheard by: lex

Gangsta #1: … And then these bitches…
Gangsta #2: Wo‐men. Nigga, they’re women!

–26th & 8th

Ghetto guy #1: Yo man, you know what I want right now?
Ghetto guy #2: Pussy?
Ghetto guy #1: Naw man, one of those falafels.
Ghetto guy #2: Not pussy?
Ghetto guy #1, lifting hands up like scale: Man, falafel. Pussy. Pussy. Falafel. I’d take that falafel any day. (pause) Does that make me gay?

–Q Train

Brotha #1, rocking out to Taylor Swift on iPhone: Why do you even have this on your phone?
Brotha #2: Cuz I’m gonna marry a white girl, that’s why.

–2 Train

Ghetto guy #1: Where were you?
Ghetto guy #2: I had to go sign some autographs.

–Marillac Hall, St. John’s University

Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind? 

–Spring & W. Broadway

Gangsta to friend: Yeah, so, she started jerkin’ him off and instead of cum, man, it was blood!
Friend: Oh shit, nigga!
Gangsta: And then she got one of those knife sharpeners.
Friend: Fuck!

–189th & Belmont

Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.

–Manhattan bound N train

Overheard by: lauren

Guy #1: I’m a gangsta. And gangsta people see gangsta movies. You go see that Hong Kong, King Kong or whatever.
Guy #2: What about In The Mix?

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Overheard by: Nathaniel Taylor