Skinny People

Skinny guy in bad 90s jeans: I have to find out what that stupid bastard said!
Fat guy: What guy are you talking about?
Skinny guy in bad 90s jeans: No, I’m talking about my wife!

–3rd Ave & Ovington, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Ohioan stuck in Brooklyn

Eight‐year‐old girl, singing: Fat lips, big lips, get your pregnant lips here!

–6 Train

Out‐of‐breath man on steps: Okay, man, breathe. Breathe like you’re having your first child!

–W4 Subway

Overheard by: Keep Pushing On!

Pregnant woman on cell: So, yeah, I’m about 5 centimeters dilated, so I’m going to get a Tasti D‑Lite and then go to the hospital.

–Rockefeller Center

Hot skinny, Asian girl to hot, skinny, blonde friends: So, am I going to get pregnant this month or what?

–57th & Park

Overheard by: would have liked to help her

Girl on phone: Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We’ll see which one wins.

–6 Train

Short, fat, toothless‐sounding woman: What we do is not disgraceful. There’s nothing disgraceful about you.
Tall thin man, with boom box in hand: No.
Short, fat, toothless‐sounding woman: There’s nothing disgraceful about me.
Tall thin man: No.
Short, fat, toothless‐sounding woman: It’s the sin that’s disgraceful. Us, holding hands, how we show our love, that’s fine. It would be a whole different story if I wasn’t married, but I am.

–Essex & Delancey

Overheard by: nb

Well‐dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well‐dressed girl #2: What?
Well‐dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems.

–Prince Street between Lafayette & Mulberry

Waif #1: Ugh. I feel so fat…I feel so gross. I’m not going to fit into any of my summer clothes…I’ve been trying to be so good, going to the gym everyday and everything.
Waif #2: You’re not fat.
Waif #1: Yes I am. You can only say that because you’re thin…I ate a salad today for lunch. But then I just ate all of these sweet thingamajiggies.

–W train

Overheard by: Nora S.

Columbia chick on cell: …I mean, like, yesterday I totally pigged out on salad.

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: djlindee

Skinny girl: Well, what are you waiting for?
Chubby girl: I’m waiting for her to fuck Jerry!

–55th & 3rd

Overheard by: diana

Guy with Mohawk drinking a beer: That guy over there is half Asian and half black.
Friend in skinny jeans: That’s so postmodern!

–The Cock, 2nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Trevor From Seattle

Skinny girl: I’m sorry you have to go through this.
Sobbing girl: I just…I just hope he’s going to… be okay.
Skinny girl: Do you think that maybe you want to go and compose yourself in the office?
Sobbing girl: I was just… there. And I would… but the candy… sucks.
Skinny girl: I’ll… I’ll give you my last Mentos.
Sobbing girl: The Freshmaker?

–The Met

[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.

–Starbucks

Skinny girl #1: Do you know bridal salons only carry dresses in small sizes, so bigger girls have to, I don’t know, close their eyes and imagine what the dress would look like if it could zip?
Skinny girl #2: Seriously?
Skinny girl #1: Some day somebody’s going to come out with a design line for fat girls, and they’re going to make a killing.
Skinny girl #2: Bridal Barn.

–Century 21, Financial District

Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.

–East Village