Fat lady: Last night, I ate an entire box of cookies
Skinny lady: Uh huh.
Fat lady: Like the whole box. I mean, I sort of threw up in my sleep I think.
Skinny lady: That’s–
Fat lady: I mean, there were definite cookie bits in my bed this morning. I’m such a cliche.
Skinny lady: That’s just really…sad.
–Pick a Bagel on Third, Third Avenue
Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!
–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th
Overheard by: Nellee
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be bad!
Skinny black dude: Yeah, he real bad!
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be ba-aaad!
Laughing black guy sitting across train, screaming: Dat nigga be so bad he be born in jail!
–Q Train
Overheard by: lola
Skinny white girl: Okay, so you know how they're always saying “the Tri-State area”?
Hispanic friend: Yeah.
Skinny white girl: They mean New York, New Jersey, and Atlantic City right?
Hispanic friend: I think so…
–Nail Salon, Kew Gardens
Skinny NYU girl #1: Oh my god, I couldn’t believe it happened. It’s one of those things you have nightmares about.
Skinny NYU girl #2: I know. Don’t people know they shouldn’t eat for at least two hours before?
Skinny NYU girl #1: Duh, totally. Who farts in the middle of yoga class?
Skinny NYU girl #2: She’ll have to go to therapy for months.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Michelle Eisenberg
Waif #1: Do you have any of that low-carb gum?
Waif #2: That stuff is super fierce.
Waif #1: I know.
–1 train
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Skinny twink #1: I know that guy.
Skinny twink #2: You know her, that guy from the chorus, the concert-soloist, that guy who blew you at Splash, and now him! That makes the fifth person you've seen that you know, in less than an hour.
Skinny twink #1: Well, New York is this big! (holds up little finger)
Skinny twink #2: And you're a whore.
–Gay Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Eugene
Fashionable, skinny Latina: What don't you like about beer, then?
Even more fashionable, skinnier Latina: Ahhh–Corona. It has an odor. It smells like… fat men.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Tha WB
Skinny blond girl: So, you can do my friend for a hundred dollars.
Larger brunette: Yeah, you can have me anyway you like.
Older man: Anyway I like?
Skinny blond girl: Yeah.
Older man: How about on credit?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: MYSTI
