Skinny girl: Ohmigod, I should be like a plus-size model!
Skinnier girl: You look great!
Skinny girl: You are sooo skinny! What do you do?
Skinnier girl: I don't eat more than like a thousand calories a day.
–Elevator, MSG Suites
Skinny girl: Ohmigod, I should be like a plus-size model!
Skinnier girl: You look great!
Skinny girl: You are sooo skinny! What do you do?
Skinnier girl: I don't eat more than like a thousand calories a day.
–Elevator, MSG Suites
Skinny white girl to angry boyfriend: Those guys that I flirt with at work, I get paid to flirt with them. It's like I'm a prostitute.
Hobo: Not with that ass, you're not!
–Queens Plaza
Skinny hipster gay boy #1: If I get too drunk I just stick my finger down my throat and force myself to vomit.
Skinny hipster gay boy #2: Yeah, I would do that… But at this point I have absolutely no gag reflex anymore.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Justin
Female student on cell: We don't know anything until we know something.
–Columbia University
Balding middle aged man guiding middle aged woman down stairs: Step, step, step, step. Flat, flat, flat, flat. Step…
–Columbia
Yoga instructor to skinny college girl: Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the left. The left. The left. The left. Your other left. I know you go to Columbia.
–Bikram Yoga, Harlem
Overcaffinated Columbia freshman girl to another: What do you mean your sociology textbook ate King Lear?
–Carman Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: that would make it difficult to finish either reading
Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said "I love Wayne's dick." And I was like "Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?"
–AMC Movie Theater
Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?
–West Village
Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dusty F.
Man on cell: He don't answer to "Leon" no more. He is now "Dick Dastardly."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Muttley
Foreign guy to tall, skinny, black guy with dyed-blonde afro and goatee: You look just like Aretha Franklin. You look just like Aretha Franklin!
Afro guy: Thanks, man.
–Church & Reade
Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!
–Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
–17th St
Overheard by: Lillian
Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jen
60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!
–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera
Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.
–45th & 3rd
Chubby girl: Hi, your top is gorgeous! Where'd you get it?
Skinny girl: Um, Greece.
Chubby girl: Well, aren't you special?
–Union Square
Tall skinny white woman in the bathroom: Um, excuse me, this is the ladies room.
Shorter heavy-set black woman: What, are you kidding? I am a lady! (laughs)
Tall skinny white woman, blushing: Um…
Shorter heavy-set black woman: White people, ya either love 'em or hate 'em… Man, I am a woman.
–Jamaica Air Restroom, JFK
Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?
–42nd St
Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?
–Lafayette & Spring
Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?
–96th St & Lexington
Overheard by: great standards
Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!
–47th & 3rd
