Skinny People

Skinny girl #1: Do you know bridal salons only carry dresses in small sizes, so bigger girls have to, I don’t know, close their eyes and imagine what the dress would look like if it could zip?
Skinny girl #2: Seriously?
Skinny girl #1: Some day somebody’s going to come out with a design line for fat girls, and they’re going to make a killing.
Skinny girl #2: Bridal Barn.

–Century 21, Financial District

Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.

–East Village

Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time!

–Hostos Faculty Dining Room

Overheard by: glad she's leaving

Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: office peon loves Thanksgiving food

Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then…

–Dunkin Donuts, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: allison

Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits.

–Upper West Side

Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry.

–95th & 2nd

Skinny girl: I’m hungry.
Friend: Same here. I want dinner. I want a salad.
Skinny girl: You want, like, a whole meal.

–N train, Times Square

Skinny girl: Overweight people have the best sense of humor. Skinny people–
Fat girl: –They’re not funny.
Skinny girl: I don’t know what it is about being fat.

–Alumni Hall elevator, NYU

Overheard by: zelda

Fat hipster: Yeah, then I would get fat and evil.
Skinny punkster: True, but that’s how you get laid.

–Bryant Park

Fat guy: So, you think she’s going to dump you?
Skinny guy: Yeah, she doesn’t seem to like the gonorrhea. It just keeps coming back!
Fat guy: Well, that’s the thing with gonorrhea.

–Walgreens, 18th & 1st

Overheard by: Trying Not To Laugh

Ugly skinny girl: I swear to god, if you compare us to The Golden Girls one more time, we're not friends anymore.
Cute fat girl: Okay, fine. (pause) God you can be such a Dorothy sometimes.

–54th & 5th

Petite woman: Just because you are taller doesn’t mean you are stronger. I have more power in my finger than that broad! One flick from me and she’d be on her ass!

–43rd & 6th

Guy on cell: I’ve got the dogs. I’ve got your mother’s latte. I’ve got your cappuccino, and I’m willing to go back for a movie but you’ve got to drive me…Hello? Hello?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: amb

Chick: My boss never actually reads her e-mail. I forwarded her a message with someone’s address, but she only read the first line and responded “Where’s the address”? I mean, scroll down bitch! Jeeeeez.

–Maiden Lane

Overheard by: J

Yoga instructor: I am totally never going back to Dop Dop again. They kept telling people I’m really a brunette.

–Equinox, 50th Street

Girl: And you know what? After having a few accidents, I just decided to wear pads, to let it flow naturally.

–College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Woman on cell: So she says to me, “Oh, you’re so interesting”, and I’m like, “Fuck you, you fucking cunt.”

–57th & 5th

Overheard by: Heather

Overweight girl: Well, he obviously liked being fucked by me.
Skinny girl: It's cause you're fat.
Overweight girl: He did say he liked big girls. Whatever, I'm over him.
Skinny girl: Yeah, his dick was little anyways.
Overweight girl: And you know this… how?!


Overheard by: Katelyn Jones