Guy # 1: Dude, I’m hella hungry.
Guy # 2: I’m freakin’ hella tired of your whining, a-hole!
Guy # 1: At least I ain’t hella stupid!
Guy # 2: And you’re hella ugly!
Passenger, to guys: Are you from Jersey?
–C Train
Overheard by: Hammer-head
Guy # 1: Dude, I’m hella hungry.
Guy # 2: I’m freakin’ hella tired of your whining, a-hole!
Guy # 1: At least I ain’t hella stupid!
Guy # 2: And you’re hella ugly!
Passenger, to guys: Are you from Jersey?
–C Train
Overheard by: Hammer-head
Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole.
–7 train
D.O.M.: I really like your culture.
Cute Japanese bartender: You… like torture?
D.O.M.: What? No, no… Culture — culture….
Bartender: [Silence.]D.O.M.: Culture. Man, how do I say this…?
Bartender: [Silence.]D.O.M.: … I like what you guys do.
Bartender, leery: Thanks…
–Japanese restaurant
Overheard by: aulevan
Boy: Look mommy, it's a doggy, it's going to say “ruff!”
(dog stares at boy)
Boy: Oh… It's not a ruff doggy…
Mom: No, honey, it's a sweet doggy.
Boy (wide eyed): It can say “sweet?”
–Washington Mews & University
Overheard by: Tyler
Idiot: You speak European as well?
Chick: I speak… uh… I don’t know what I speak.
–East Village
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Girl #1: His Irish accent is so heavy.
Girl #2: I know.
Girl #1: All I could make out were the words ‘actor’ and ‘single,’ but we’ll work the rest out later.
–Stitch Bar & Lounge
Teen girl, about old Latina scolding dog in Spanish: Stupid bitch! Dogs don’t speak Spanish!
–86th & Columbus
College girl, to mumbling Persians: What language are you speaking? I’m just curious…
Persian college student: Well, that was English…
–Elevator, NYU Dorm
20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying.
Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British?
20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Locational
Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.
–Uptown NY Tour Bus
