Photographer lady: They didn’t de-jowl him, which surprised me.
–Once Upon a Tart, Sullivan Street
Overheard by: Sara T.
Photographer lady: They didn’t de-jowl him, which surprised me.
–Once Upon a Tart, Sullivan Street
Overheard by: Sara T.
Guy: So after my reading, one of the actors was being all nice to me, and wanting to hang out, whatever. I thought he was just being friendly, but then I found out from my friend that in acting school they tell you to do that.
Girl: Do what?
Guy: You know, hook up with up and coming playwrights and directors, so you have contacts. Come to think of it, all my actor friends started being nicer to me after my reading. You guys should be sucking up, too.
Girl: I like your hair.
–105th & 5th
Hobo: Folks, help me out. I am trying to get my rotor blade fixed on my helicopter!
–W. 10th and 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Connecticut woman: It was such a joke among my friends; I was always going out with artists or unemployed people…which I guess is the same thing.
–Cuppa Cuppa, East Village
British art guy: You know what I love about Americans?
American art guy: What’s that?
British art guy: When I say the word ‘fag,’ they think I’m talking about smoking and not being homophobic. Even if I say, ‘I want to ass-fuck that fag,’ I can get away with it because I’m British.
–Soho
Artist: Painting is wearing me out. I think I’m ready to retire.
Sales associate: Artists do not retire. As a matter of fact, they are the only ones that do not retire.
Artist: Yeah, they just jump off a bridge or out of a window.
–New York Central Art Supply Store, 3rd Ave, between 10th & 11th St
Balloon-Twisting clown: Ha ha! What are you, some kind of fucking gypsy?
Face painter dressed as gypsy: Do you want a fucking cigarette or what?
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: I quit, but that juggler looks like he could
Dude to another: Yeah, but she got a yeast infection from sitting around naked on muffins all day.
–Union Square
Overheard by: chris
Artsy guy on cell: No, no, she’s not naked… But you want to see her naked!
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Flight attendant: Your pilot for the flight today is Buck Naked. Your first officer is Justin Case. That’s just in case Buck Naked decides to get buck wild.
–LaGuardia
Dude: I heard that all they do there is have sex and drink beer… And have naked snowball fights.
–41st & 7th
Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: Madalyn
Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Marc
Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.
–Starbucks
Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?
–Starbucks
Musician: Oh, so this past tour — you’re gonna laugh.
Friend: Yeah?
Musician: This past tour I went skinny dipping in hotel pools three times. The water’s really warm, and the lights have to be off, but they leave the doors open.
Friend: That is so you.
–Manny’s Music Store, 48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Spidoodle
Designer on cell: I'm with a client right now. Can I call you back in two hours? I'm with a client. Bye.
Client: Huh?
Designer: Oh, my fucking son.
–Lexington Ave
