Guy #1: I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to live in fucking West Bubblefuck.
Guy #2: Bubblefuck? Yeah?
Guy #1: Well, it’s like…3,000 miles away. Damn.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, right.

–1 train

Overheard by: Sarah Cullen

Girl: Oh my god.
Guy: Can’t you just say OMG?

–The Whitney

Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.

–N train

Overheard by: Daniel Motta 

Doctor lady: Did you hear that Dr. Khan just had a baby?
Doctor guy: Oh, was she pregnant?

–Burger King, Jamaica

Overheard by: Ed Selter

Woman: She didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was giving birth…

–Columbia University Medical Center

Lady: Where is the restroom?
Einstein: There’s one on 4 near the bathrooms, and one up on 6 near the bathrooms.

–Filene’s Basement, Union Square

Overheard by: Erika Karnell 

Guy: So people ask me, “What am I?”, and I say, “Firstly, I’m a person and an American.” It’s such a contextual paradox. I just can’t explain it.
Girl: Huh?
Guy: I just said I can’t explain it, it’s a contextual paradox.

–N train

Woman #1: He had to take his cat to the vet.
Woman #2: She has to get spaded?

–Office, W. 53rd Street

Guy #1: That’s far. That shit is deep.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: 14th.
Guy #2: You think that’s deep? Shit.

–St Mark’s, between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Jon Door

Woman: That one painting was gorgeous.
Man: Did you notice that no matter where you were in the room, his eyes were looking at you? That’s how you can tell it’s a great painting.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jeff Scherer 

Prof: A noun is a person, place or thing. Can someone give me a noun? William?
William: How ’bout…motherfucker?
Prof: That could be a noun, but also a verb or even an adjective…


Overheard by: Professor