Mom: Why don’t we take the baby to go pumpkin picking this week?
Dad: No.
Mom: Why not?
Dad: Because it’s too dangerous.
–Annadale, Staten Island
Overheard by: flappers
Mom: Why don’t we take the baby to go pumpkin picking this week?
Dad: No.
Mom: Why not?
Dad: Because it’s too dangerous.
–Annadale, Staten Island
Overheard by: flappers
Girl trying to find a card for her boyfriend: See, this one is too girly. And this one is more boyish and really nice… but it’s so sparkly!
Dude: Well, there are many sparkleful guys out there. Maybe your boyfriend is one.
–Hallmark Store, Staten Island Mall
Man #1: So I'm lookin down there, and I see my girlfriend tugging at her crotch.
Man #2: Why?
Man #1: Well, it turns out she was masturbating with a banana, and she squashed it and it exploded inside of her! Haha!
Man #2: That's completely disgusting, your girlfriend is a freak and you should reconsider licking her butt, like you said you do for her.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: TOOBxSOCKS
Woman: Karen’s gone. She resigned. She’s going to California to be with some boy.
Man: Wow, that’s scary.
Woman: Yeah. Especially since when I first met her she was a lesbian.
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Girl on cell: So I told her I didn’t think George Washington was a cannibal.
–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island
Overheard by: Marina Tricorico
Asian girl to friend: You know, if he really likes you, he’d eat you.
–Coles Sports Center
Overheard by: Alice Huang
Hysterical woman screaming at cops: She bit me! I did not touch her!
–84th & Broadway
Overheard by: rachel
Dude: Remember that crazy condo lady? She totally ate my ass on the first date.
–Chelsea
20-something guy on cell: have you ever tasted pee before?! Word?!
–Spring & W Broadway
Three-year-old girl: Daddy, I’m eating your eyeballs!
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
High school girl #1: Yeah, Americans have no moral values. The United States hasn’t had good morals since, like, the 17th century.
High school girl #2: Yeah, I know.
High school girl #1: I mean, you could walk down the street naked and no one would say anything. That would never happen in Europe.
High school girl #2: Yeah, but in France women wear tight, revealing clothing, too.
High school girl #1: But in France it’s fashionable. Here it’s just slutty.
–Victory Blvd, Staten Island
Overheard by: The US wasn’t a country in the 17th century…
Bag lady: …but I got 33 days credit.
Hobo: Yeah, but you know if you get locked up again, you’re gonna be there for 60.
Bad lady: I know, then I’ll do half.
Hobo: I can’t believe that guy did that to you. I’m gonna set him up like a bowling pin. And you know what happens to bowling pins: they get knocked out.
–Staten Island Railway
Overheard by: David D.
Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!
–Bayview Place, Staten Island
Overheard by: now I want a mental shower
Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists…
–The Guy Molinari
Overheard by: Lou
Russki #1: You can have my girlfriend.
Russki #2: I don’t want your girlfriend, she has AIDS.
Russki #1: Use a condom.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: R
