A Typical Saturday Night for David Hasselhoff

Angry drunk yelling at man: Fuck you! Fuck your mother! I hope you die, you piece of shit!
Angry drunk’s girlfriend: Will you just calm down?
Angry drunk: No, fuck that! I hope he dies! I hope his mother dies! I’ll fucking go back in time and terminate his mother!
Brave stranger: (laughs)
Angry drunk: What the fuck are you laughing at motherfucker?
Brave stranger: Going back in time and terminating his mother.
Angry drunk: Well, okay, that is funny… I like that movie too. (pause) Fuck him, I hope he dies!

–Q Train

Posted on July 18, 2022
Anger Management, Couples, Death, Drunks, Insults, Laughter, Movies, On the Subway, Parents, Strangers, Wishes & desires

She’s Imagining a Future Without Him

College‐Aged guy: “Imagine”?? I don’t get it. What am I supposed to imagine?
Girlfriend: Shhh, let’s go!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Overheard by: beatle

Posted on June 22, 2022
Central Park, Couples, Idiots, Music, Stupidity

What? I Don’t Want the Dog to Catch On

Stumbling drunk woman, loudly: Do you have any b‑l‐o‑w?!
Date: Great. Real subtle!

–E 11^th St

Overheard by: filigreed

Posted on June 14, 2022
Cocaine, Couples, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Women

It’s Funny, Though — She Never Calls

Bimbette: Yeah, me and Beyoncé is friends on MySpace. She invites me to all the hot events, like her concerts and parties. She even bulletins me.
Boyfriend: For real?
Bimbette: Yeah, we’s like best friends.

–Shuttle to Times Square

Overheard by: Is not friends with Beyonce :(

Posted on June 10, 2022
About Celebrities, Bimbettes, Couples, Friendship, Idiots, Liars, Lies, Music, On the Bus, Public Transportation

… So I Maced Him.

College girl: Whenever I tell anyone that I was there when you dislocated your shoulder they ask if it’s my fault ’cause we were having sex.
20‐ish guy: Hahaha! Yeah, me, too. I had one guy ask me, ‘Did it happen while you were [pelvic thrusts] uh, uh, uh?‘
College girl, excitedly: That’s exactly what my dad said!

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Posted on April 29, 2022
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Family Ties, Health and Hygiene, Sex, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Hey, Performance Art Is My Weakness

Guy, about hobo jacking off: Wait, I want to see what happens.
Girl: No, this is our stop. Besides, what do you think will happen? What happens to you?

–A train

Overheard by: LSB

Posted on April 17, 2022
Couples, Masturbation, On the Subway

But All I Said Was, I Hate The Hills!

Yelling wife: You made a promise. You’re my husband.
Husband: Can we do this later?
Yelling wife: No, I made the worst mistake of my life marrying you. Take your ring… go.

–F Train

Posted on April 4, 2022
Couples, Default, Insults, Marriage, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Relationships, Women

Take Another Moment to Love New York

Lady: Is that your girlfriend? She has beautiful eyes.
Guy with girlfriend: Yeah, you should see her ass. Baby, get up and show her your ass.

–B Train

Posted on March 18, 2022
Ass, Beauty, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Couples, On the Subway, Weirdness, Women

Two If We Get Arrested Again

Woman: Do you wanna go into those bushes and do it?
Man: Nah, we always fuck in Central Park. Let’s go to Washington Square.
Woman: Fine, but you have to buy me a funnel cake later.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jimmy Dailey

Posted on March 6, 2022
Central Park, Couples, Sex

Let’s Try Feeding Her and See What Happens

Girlfriend: So, do you think Fiona is really crazy?
Boyfriend: No, I just think she is hungry.

–Fiona Apple concert, Central Park

Overheard by: Nicole B.

Posted on February 19, 2022
About Celebrities, Boyfriends, Central Park, Couples, Crazy, Default, Diet/Weight, Food, Girlfriends, Music, Questions

Couples