Psychic

Jamaican girl: You know what I think about a lot? I think I must have been white in my past life, but I must have done something really, really horrible to get stuck in this black body.
Boyfriend: Jeez, you do think about that a lot.
Jamaican girl: Oh, not 90 percent of the time. Just 10 percent.

–Subway to Archer Ave

Overheard by: Just a girl

Crazy old lady: You're gonna have a bad year.
Guy: Thank you.
Crazy old lady: You're gonna have very bad luck… you could be in the next 9/11.

–7th Ave & 36th St

Hobo: Can you spare some change?…Fine, you 8th graders!
Tween girl: Oh my gosh, he’s psychic!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Amanda

Girl: Oh my god, I have to tell you something but you cannot, absolutely tell anybody else! You swear?
Queer: Oh my god, yes. I promise it’s just between you, my psychic and my shrink!

–50th & 9th

Guy with fliers: Psychic readings! Only 10 dollars! Psychic readings!
Realist: Yo man, if that bitch knows where the money at, why don’t she go get it herself?
Guy, dropping fliers: Word! I’m going to go ask that bitch now!

–Union Square

Headline by: Allison

Runners-Up:

· “He’s a regular Nostra-Dumbass” – Smellface

· “I see dead presidents!” – The Amazing Gotcharocksoff

· “Miss Cleo: Your First Card Is Sucker, The 3 Of Sheisters” – the ace of spades

· “That Takes a Pair of Crystal Balls.” – DanK

· “We ALL saw that coming” – JP

· “While You’re There, Ask Her Where The Leprechaun At” – wookie


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl: That psychic bitch stole our money!
Boy: She told me I was insecure!
Girl: That midget Indian hulk lied to me. He told me palm reading was real!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: rafferty

An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog?

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jonathan

Street fair psychic to sorority girls walking by: Hello, ladies. Can I interest you in a psychic reading? Tarot cards? Palm reading?
Sorority girl: I'm sorry, I don't believe in psychics.
Street fair psychic: Well, I don't believe in you!

–Union Square

Young child to mother: I am not psychic.

–Downtown B Train

Overheard by: furf

Normal-looking guy: But we have the complexity of magic!

–NYU

Asian Bikram instructor: Listen to your breast and find your inner piss.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Bikram Curious

Thug on cell: You don't know what kind of drugs they gave you, or if you really blacked out. But you have to understand that the spiritual world and the physical world are two different things. (pause) I don't have evidence of a spiritual world. (pause) You know that guy Des-cart? That's his name, right?

–Hunter College

Overheard by: trapped@hunter

Guy on phone: Listen, Julian, you are a shit-ass excuse for a friend. You can lick the peanut butter from between my toes. (pause) Listen, Julian, I'm on the other line with my psychic, let me call you back.

–49th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lara

Girl #1: What did your astrologer say?
Girl #2: She said I will meet my husband in the next year. He's 6'4″ with salt-and-pepper hair. He has a title but he's not lawyer.
Girl #1: Yeah…and he's a billionaire?
Girl #2: He's not a billionaire but he does well for himself. Oh, also he's French but he speaks seven languages.
Girl #2: Did she say anything about me?
Girl #1: She said your life is gonna go from shitty to alright.

–Holiday Cocktail Lounge, St Mark's & 2nd

Overheard by: wax